


Meaner Than My Demons

by sleepingontheway



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Romance, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-12
Updated: 2018-01-27
Packaged: 2018-10-03 04:36:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 40,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10236026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepingontheway/pseuds/sleepingontheway
Summary: This is the story of troubled, teen witch, Lena Luthor, through the innocent eyes of Kara Danvers. Hogwarts AU. Lena may not be sweet; Alex may not be wholesome. A little Sanvers for flavor.





	1. A Bolt from the Blue

**Author's Note:**

> Begins two years and three months after the Battle of Hogwarts. Snape and Dumbledore are alive, to keep the warmth of the Hogwarts setting. (For those bothered by Snape, I plan on him being around little. Lily need not be relevant for the purposes of this story.)

"Come _on_!" Kara pushed her trolley with one hand and pulled on Alex's arm with the other.

"Would you relax?" Alex shook her off. "You got us here 20 minutes early as it is. We're gonna be the only ones on the train."

"I don't care! I've been waiting for this day for 11 years!" she whined.

"You've been waiting for this day for _five_ years. You didn't even know Hogwarts existed before that."

"Well it feels like 11 years. I'm gonna run ahead!"

"Be careful!" Eliza called after her.

When she finally saw the entrance to the platform, she made a dash directly for it. There was no need for hesitation; she'd been through it twice in the past with Alex. Not that she'd hesitated those times either.  But this time, it was different. This time she was pushing her own trolley with her own bags, her own robes, her own books... God, she couldn't wait.

She erupted through the other side and there it was: The Hogwarts Express. It might as well have been waiting just for her, because that's what it felt like. But it wasn't just for her, as was made apparent by the other kids bustling around. Some were tearfully bidding farewell to their parents and younger siblings, others were greeting the friends they'd missed over the summer with hugs and laughter. There was so much emotion all around her, she felt like she might burst.

"Are you ready?" she heard her sister ask behind her.

She turned around to find Alex and Eliza watching her take it all in. Their smiles quickly turned to frowns, and it was only then that Kara realized her face was wet with tears.

"What's the matter, sweetheart?" Eliza asked, putting a comforting arm around her shoulders.

"I'm... not sad. I don't know why I'm crying." She wiped insistently at her face with the sleeve of her sweater.

The woman gave her a small smile. "You're probably just overwhelmed. You'll be okay."

She was overwhelmed, but in the best way. She loved the Danvers, and she loved being a part of their family, but she had come from the outside. And they didn't know what it was like for her, trying to adapt to her new powers on this planet. Only Clark did, and she hardly ever saw him.

Here, she was on even footing with everyone. She was not the strange girl from another planet, not as far as anyone here knew. They were all trying to learn how to use their magic just like she was.

"Come on," Alex chimed in, smiling. "Let's go drop off our bags."

 

* * *

 

She gave Eliza one last, big hug before climbing on board the train.  She didn't know what exactly she'd been expecting, but this was better. The aisle was narrow, and the finishes looked aged. She grasped onto the straps of her backpack and tried to turn  sideways  as other kids squeezed by her, laughing and looking for a compartment.

She glanced behind her and saw Alex chatting with a boy she didn't recognize, so she kept walking. She stopped at the first empty compartment she found and started to walk inside, only to realize it wasn't entirely empty. A girl a little older than she was sitting there, quietly reading a book. Kara noted how out of place this seemed on an otherwise boisterous train. The girl's straight black hair was in a tight ponytail, and she was already dressed in her Slytherin robes. Next to her was a fluffy black cat . He lifted his head and his big eyes looked directly into hers, a single white canine sticking out of his mouth.

Kara noticed the girl's hand still on the cat, but she didn't lift her head from the book.  


She was just starting to open her mouth to say "hello" when she felt Alex grab her firmly by the arm. "Not this one," Alex said, making no effort to keep her voice down.

The cat meowed loudly at Kara, and she saw the girl look up as Alex pushed her away from the compartment.

 

* * *

 

They continued walking until they found Alex's friend Vicki. She'd had saved a compartment for them. 

She was Alex's best friend, and she had met her during the last month of the summer. She came to stay with the Danvers for almost a week. She was a sweet girl, and Kara liked her.

Alex slipped into the seat next to her friend, and Kara sat opposite them, pulling off her backpack and looking inside for a snack. 

"When does the candy trolley come?" she asked, unwrapping a sandwich. 

Alex rolled her eyes and Vicki laughed. "Not for a while yet, Kara, sorry," Vicki said sympathetically. 

"Here you guys are!" An older boy so tall he filled the entire compartment door appeared in front of them.

"Yes, Olsen. Here we are, in plain sight," Alex teased.

"Ha ha," he directly dryly at Alex before turning to her, smiling. "Kara Danvers! It's about time you joined us." He took a seat next to her.

Kara had never met Jimmy Olsen, but she knew of him. He was friends with Alex, but apparently he'd really admired Clark when they'd been at Hogwarts together. He was a lot younger than Clark, but Alex said he'd been like a brother to him. Jimmy's dad passed away when he was very young. Kara could sympathize with that.

"I agree!" she laughed.

"So what house do you think you're going to get?" he asked.

"Well seeing as I'm sitting with a bunch of Gryffindors, I'd better say that."  They laughed with her.

"Okay, well I just wanted to say hi. I'd better get going. I'm a prefect now!" He flashed his badge at Alex.

"Oh, god," Alex grumbled. "That's exactly what we need. Another reason for you to feel important."

 

* * *

 

When they got off the train, Alex told her to follow the other first years towards the boats, and that she had to go a different way.

Rather than being nervous, she was incredibly excited by this. It was nice of Alex and Vicki to sit with her on the train, but she didn't get to make any friends that way. She had already met Vicki, and anyway, she was a third year like Alex. Kara wanted to make some friends that were all hers.

She was waiting to Hagrid to arrive and start loading them into the boats when she realized she wasn't wearing her backpack. _Dang it._ She must have left it on the train.

She turned around and ran for it, hoping the train wasn't something they locked up after everyone had gotten off. She ran impossibly fast until she was in view of the train, then she slowed her pace slightly. She grabbed onto a handle and flung herself inside one of the open doors, jumping over the steps.

_Oof!_ In her haste, she inadvertently ran a girl directly into the wall opposite the door.

"Watch where you’re going!" the girl snapped and made a soft gasping noise. She was clutching her stomach with one arm, undoubtedly because Kara had knocked the wind out of her.

Kara winced. "I'm sorry! Oh man, I'm so sorry! Are you okay?" Kara gripped the older girl's shoulders, as if to hold her steady, because she didn't know what else to do.

The girl with the cat looked up at her slowly. To her surprise, the girl just looked back at her silently for several seconds, before finally taking a shaky breath and saying, "I'm fine. You should be more careful." She sounded annoyed.

"I know. I get that a lot. I'm really, really sorry." She realized she was still holding onto the girl and let go, taking a step back and nearly falling down the steps. The girl didn't react.

"I'm Lena Luthor," the girl said, with an expression Kara couldn't read.

"It's nice to meet you, Lena." She extended her hand nervously. "I'm Kara." 

The girl looked at her hand for what seemed like an eternity before taking it in her own and shaking it firmly. 

"Is this what you were rushing back for?" Lena asked. She pulled Kara's backpack off of her shoulder and extended it out to her. "I saw it sitting in a compartment when I was walking out."

"Yes! Thank you, I didn't even see you had it!" She took it, throwing it back on.

"Sure."

"I'd better get to the boats before they leave without me. Thanks again, Lena, and I'm really sorry for running into you! I'll see you around!"

"Yeah, maybe." 

She could feel the girl’s eyes on her as she took off again.

 

* * *

 

When she got back to the boats, they were loading the last one. Inside was just a small boy with dark hair. He smiled gratefully at her when she scrambled in.

"Thank goodness! I was afraid I'd have to ride in this thing alone." He looked nervous.

She laughed and sat down too roughly, causing the boat to rock. He spread his arms out and held on, as though he could stop the movement himself.

"Sorry." How many times would she have to be sorry on her first night? "I'm Kara."

"That's okay. I'm Winn." He made a small waiving gesture, awkwardly.

 

* * *

 

Kara’s first week at Hogwarts was even more incredible than she had expected. It was also significantly scarier. The castle was massive, and she was dreadful with navigation. She managed to get lost at least five times a day, by her own estimation. Then there was the Great Lake and the Forbidden Forest, which were easy to avoid at least. The older students had told her all about the monsters they contained, and she had no desire to ever find out for herself if they were telling the truth. She was also exceptionally jumpy, and every time a portrait moved unexpectedly or a ghost whooshed by her, she flew out of her skin. Thank god for the glasses Jeremiah had given her, or she’s sure she would have fried several of those portraits accidentally by now.

The food, however, was amazing. Eliza was a great cook and Jeremiah had been as well, but this was something she had never experienced. She was never able to satisfy her hunger quite sufficiently at home, but here the food was endless. She would finish, and more would appear. And no one around was cooking it so no one was even annoyed with her about it. Alex teased, and her new friend Winn seemed perplexed by it, but none of that bothered her. The food was all that mattered. 

On Saturday after breakfast, she asked Alex to give her another, more thorough tour, in hopes that she might get lost a little bit less often the second week. They made their way up to the library, and decided to stop inside so that Kara could see it. She would need to spend a lot of time there, Alex joked. They were halfway to the restricted section when Lena spoke.

"So, there’s a sequel," she drawled, smirking.

She was sitting in an overstuffed chair tucked in a nook on their left. She once again had a book in her hand and the cat in her lap. Kara smiled at him. He meowed, and Lena looked at him. 

"Shut up, Luthor," Alex snapped at her. 

"Ouch," she replied sarcastically. "I’d forgotten how clever your insults were. Hurts me to the core." She put a hand over her chest.

"Come on, Kara." Alex turned towards the door and grabbed Kara’s arm to pull her along. 

"Leaving so soon?" Lena called after them. 

Alex huffed loudly as the threw the door open. 

"That girl is evil," she said without preamble once they were in the hall. "Avoid her at all costs."

"‘Evil’ is an awfully strong word." She trusted her sister, but Lena had seemed perfectly normal to her when they’d met previously. 

"It’s a moderate word when describing Lena Luthor. She’s a bitch, Kara. I’m serious. Don’t associate with her, okay?" 

"I mean, I guess. Okay." She had no reason not to believe what Alex was saying. She had a lot more experience with her, after all. 

"You know who she is, right? Who her brother is?" Her sister’s eyes were so insistent; she was genuinely concerned.

"I know. That’s what I figured. But that doesn’t mean that she’s the same way, does it?" 

"I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what it means."

She had a heavy feeling in the pit of her stomach as they continued on with their tour. It felt an awful lot like guilt.


	2. You Are Not a Human Being

She was out on the grounds near the Great Lake when it happened. It was the third week of school and quidditch try-outs were just finishing up. Even though she was a second year now, she still didn’t have her own broomstick. They were expensive, and since she wouldn’t be playing quidditch and could fly without one, there hadn’t seemed a point. 

Alex, however, was just about the begin her second year as one of the Gryffindor chasers. Kara and Winn were celebrating with Alex, Vicki, and several members of the Gryffindor quidditch team. Winn didn’t have a broomstick either, and didn’t seem to have any desire to ever get one. They were taking turns with Alex’s while she laid next to Vicki in the grass, chatting. 

"Say ‘please.’" She heard it from a distance, and looked around for the source. 

"Please!" a girl yelled.

"How does it feel to beg?"

That’s when she spotted him. One of the Hufflepuff 6th years was flying high above a tree across the lawn. She had seen Lena sitting underneath that tree when they all arrived, and she was now standing next to it, staring at the boy in the air. 

"I want you to know what it feels like to be helpless." He held the black cat Kara had come to recognize as Lena’s out with one hand. The cat squirmed in his grip, and Lena pulled her hands up to her face. 

" _Please_!" She sounded more frantic now. 

Kara grabbed the broom from Winn and flew in their direction. She remembered half a second too late to put the broom between her legs for appearances and hoped no one noticed. 

She was only halfway there when he let go. The cat continued squirming as he fell, and she heard Lena yell out. She focused her attention on the animal and flew as fast as she could. When she reached him she did her best to catch him gently, and to her surprise, he didn’t struggle to get away. 

By the time she brought them both to the ground, Lena was already running over. 

"Toby!" she grabbed him from Kara and hugged him close. Her face was wet with tears. 

"I’m sorry," Kara said. She knew she didn’t have anything to be sorry for, but that’s how she felt. She felt sorry. 

Lena looked up at her then, as if only just noticing her. 

"That’s ridiculous." She wiped her face with a spare hand. "You saved him." 

Kara laughed nervously at the absurdity of the situation. She’d seen Lena around over the last year, but she hadn’t spoken to her once. 

"So, his name is Toby? I wondered." 

"Mmm." The older girl’s eyes searched her face before speaking slowly. "Thank you, Danvers. I didn’t have my broom. I couldn’t…." she trailed off, looking back down at Toby. 

"Hey, it’s okay. He’s okay." If it had been anyone else, Kara would have patted them on the back, and put her arm around their shoulders. But there was something about Lena, something that felt untouchable to her. So she shoved her hands in her pockets instead.

"You should play quidditch," she said suddenly.

"What?" 

"You should play quidditch. I saw how far away you were. That flying was amazing, especially for a second year. You could be a seeker. Did you try out?" She seemed genuinely curious. 

"No." And she wasn’t happy about it. It wasn’t fair. "Alex says I’m too good, that it wouldn’t be fair to the other kids." 

She knew Alex was right. She knew that with her ability to fly without the broom, and with super strength and hearing, she would essentially be cheating every second of the game without even meaning to. But it still sucked.

"That’s absurd." Lena’s genuine dismay made her feel good. "She says you’re too good at quidditch to play quidditch?" 

She nodded.

"It sounds like she’s just afraid of the competition. You should ignore her and try out next year." 

Instead of responding, she changed the subject. "Did you try out?"

"Yes," she answered bitterly. "I’m better than half the idiots on the team, but they passed on me anyway. I’m not surprised. It’s their loss." 

"Why did they pass on you?" She didn’t understand. Wouldn’t they want the best players on the team? 

Lena looked at her with utter bewilderment. "Ask your sister." She gestured to the side with her head, and Kara looked to see Alex running towards them. 

"Kara!" Alex shouted when they made eye contact. "Are you okay?" she asked, finally reaching them. 

"Me? I’m fine, it was Lena he was picking on." 

"Rrright." Alex looked at Lena, who glared back at her. "Are _you_ okay then?" 

"As if you care, Danvers." She turned to walk back to her tree. 

Alex rolled her eyes. "Whatever." 

She turned to Kara and grabbed her broomstick back.

"What were you thinking?" Alex whisper-yelled as they walked back to their group. 

"What are you talking about? He was going to kill her cat." 

"But Kara… you shouldn’t be able to fly like that. People could have noticed." 

"Hey Danvers!" a Slytherin girl shouted. "The younger generation got more talent? What’s that about?" 

"Save the trash talk for the pitch, Maggie!" 

The girl laughed. 

"I told you people would notice." Alex pinched her arm.

"Well what was I supposed to do! Even if I hated Lena like you do, I should just let the cat fall to his death? Toby didn’t do anything!" Alex wasn’t being fair. 

Her sister sighed. "I just want you to be careful. When Lex found out what Clark could do… I just don’t want anything to happen to you. It’s best if you keep your extra gifts to yourself, especially when it comes to a Luthor. _Please_."

"I’ll be careful, Alex. It’s not like I want anyone to find out either."

Alex smiled softly, putting her arm around the smaller girl’s shoulders. 

 

* * *

 

"Fuck, I hate her!" Alex yelled, falling onto the couch in the common room. 

"Who?" Kara looked up from her essay. "Lena?" 

"Maggie," Vicki answered, a teasing tone in her voice. 

James laughed from his seat at the chess table, opposite Winn. "What did she do this time?"

"Snape partnered us up in potions. We failed the whole assignment. She’s impossible to work with! And she didn’t even care that we were clearly failing, she just kept making jokes!" 

"Yeah, I hate when people try to make me laugh," Vicki joked. 

"She wasn’t trying to make me laugh! She was being obnoxious! She thinks she’s so fucking charming." She picked up the bag she’d thrown on the floor and pulled out a textbook. "Now I’m supposed to write a paper on the potion we couldn’t make for extra credit… _by tomorrow_." 

"She is charming," James said, looking at Kara meaningfully. She must have missed the joke. "And you should be happy. Clark said Snape never used to give extra credit. That bite apparently softened him up." 

"Softened him up?" Kara exclaimed. "You can't be serious! I’m failing potions, and it’s only half because I’m terrible at it. It’s also half because I spend the whole class afraid he’ll notice me!" 

"I like potions," Winn said, only half paying attention. "Checkmate."

"Damn! Kid, you are five years younger than I am. _Five years_. You should not be beating me." 

"Brain games are literally the only thing I can beat you at. Just let me have it." Winn yawned. "Bed time, I think."

"Yeah, me too," James said. "Quidditch practice tomorrow. Gotta be rested!" 

"Yeah, you must need a lot of sleep to hit self-targeting balls at other people," Vicki teased. 

"Hey! I protect my players!" he laughed.

"Yeah, yeah. I’m right behind you," she said.

"I wish. I have to finish this paper for History of Magic by tomorrow morning." She hated Professor Binns’ class. Staying awake for his boring lectures first thing in the morning was hard in and of itself. Add hours of homework the night before, and it was nearly impossible. 

"It’s okay, sis. I’m with you," Alex smiled at her. 

 

* * *

 

 

About 20 minutes after their friends had left, Alex broke the silence. 

"Hey, if I get a study aid, will you promise not to tell mom?" 

Why wouldn’t she be able to tell Eliza about a study aid? And why would she want to?

"I guess, sure." 

Alex left her parchment and ran up the stairs, presumably to her dorm. She returned a minute later with a hand behind her back. 

"You swear?" she asked.

"Alex, what is it? You know I’m not gonna say anything."

She pulled out her arm to reveal a small flask.

"Seriously?" she asked. 

"Firewhisky makes the words flow! It decreases writing time by at least a third, I swear." 

"You’re a bad influence," she deadpanned.

"It’s not like I’m giving it to you." She plopped back down on the couch and unscrewed the cap. 

"That’s rude! Where did you even get it?" She had never had firewhisky and was curious about it, despite knowing better.

"I know people." She took a sip. 

"You do not ‘know people.’ Unless by ‘people’ you mean your 7th year teammates?" Kara guessed.

Alex blushed and wiped her mouth. "It doesn’t matter who." 

"So… you really aren’t going to share?" Kara kept her focus on the quill she was playing with. 

"Seriously?"

"Come on, Alex. Don’t make me beg. What does firewhisky even taste like?" 

Her sister laughed. 

"You can taste it, but you can’t have a lot. I would be the world’s worst big sister if I just gave it to you." She stood up and came over the Kara’s table, handing it to her.

Kara smelled it before taking a sip. She was halfway to handing it back with a "nevermind," but curiosity got the better of her. 

"That’s terrible!" she croaked out after a small drink. It was like red hots mixed with …. something disgusting. 

Alex laughed. "That’s a good reaction. A sister likes to hear that." 

"Well isn’t that how everyone feels?" She looked around for water, but didn’t have any.

"Maybe at first." She sat back down, taking another sip. 

"You don’t think it’s gross anymore?"

"Not anymore, no." She looked sad all of a sudden. "The first time I tried it was with some older kids, and I didn’t want to look stupid, so I pretended to like it. I drank enough to get drunk. Don’t tell mom!" She interrupted her story to look at Kara meaningfully.

"Alex, I wouldn’t!" She should have known better, really. Alex was her best friend.

"Thanks. Anyways, it was the first time I slept through the night since dad died. Sometimes if I can’t sleep… well, it helps me." 

Kara wasn’t really sure why, but she didn’t like that. 

"And now I like the taste." She took another sip.

"How long ago was that? That the older kids gave it to you?" She left her homework and moved to the couch.

"I don’t know. Beginning of third year, I think? After I could go to Hogsmeade." 

"You know… I’m just saying, you know if you can’t sleep, I’m here now, right? You can always come get me." She put her head on Alex’s shoulder.

"I know, Kara." She reached an arm around her, kissing the top of her head. "That’s actually what Vicki said, too. Sometimes she lays with me until I fall asleep." 

"That’s nice and everything, Vicki’s really sweet, but I lost him too, Alex. You can always come to me." It was incredibly important to her that Alex know she was there for support. Being away from her those first two years was impossibly difficult.

She saw Alex wipe at her face. "Thanks." 


	3. Please Don’t Let Them Look Through the Curtains

Kara was almost done eating breakfast when Lena walked into the Great Hall. She was alone, like Kara, and took a seat towards the end of the Slytherin table.

She watched Lena place her books on the table, cracking one open to her left before dishing herself a plate. She noticed the small portions Lena was grabbing and wondered how the girl could function on so little sustenance.

The last time she had an actual conversation with Lena was when she saved her cat, and that was over a month ago. They never really crossed paths. They were in different houses, in different years. When she did happen to see Lena, she was almost always alone. Every once in a while she would spot one or two Ravenclaw girls with her, but never anyone else.

She watched Lena eat and read in silence for several minutes before standing up and brushing herself off, making sure she wasn't covered in crumbs.  She walked over to Lena's table, and once she was opposite the girl, she stopped. She had expected her to look up, but she didn't.

Kara cleared her throat.

Lena took a bite of bacon, continuing to read.

Kara furrowed her eyebrows. There was no way Lena didn't notice her. Still, she refused to be discouraged.

"Hi, Lena!"

Lena looked up at her slowly. "Do you need something?"

"Uuh, no. Nope. I was just... I wanted to say hello! I haven't talked to you since the other day..."

Kara trailed off. Lena had sighed dramatically while Kara was talking. She put down her fork and gently dabbed at her mouth with a napkin.

"Listen, Danvers..."

"It's Kara."

Lena stared at her blankly for several seconds before continuing.

"I know your name," she spoke slowly, like Kara was just learning English,  "And don't interrupt me when I'm speaking. You saved Toby. I know that, and I'm grateful for that. Truly. But you and I are not friends. Do you understand?"

"If you know my name, why don't you use it?" Kara asked, sitting down uninvited across from the other girl.

Lena closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"You and I are not the same. I have no interest in sitting here and chatting with you. I have better ways to spend my time." 

"But how do you know you won't like it if you don't try it?"

"Fucking Christ," Lena muttered, seemingly to herself. "We are not now, nor will we ever be friends."

She closed the book she was reading and gathered it with the others into her arms.

"I cannot be more clear," she said, leaving Kara alone at the table.

Kara furrowed her brows, collecting an uneaten biscuit from Lena's plate and taking a bite.

Why would she be so opposed to even saying hello? Kara hadn't done anything to offend the girl, she was almost certain of it. Part of her thought it had something to do with Lena hating Alex, but another part of her knew that Lena hardly had any friends at all. And apparently, she didn't want any. Kara didn't understand.

"Hey, kid!"

A girl Kara recognized as Maggie Sawyer called to her from further down the Slytherin table. She was smirking at her, one arm flung over a friend's should.

"Wrong table!" she said once she had Kara'a attention.

The friend gave a bigger laugh than was warranted, and Kara rolled her eyes at the girl, taking another bite and getting up to go back to her dormitory.

 

* * *

 

**_Lionel Luther Dies of Apparent Heart Attack_ **

The Daily Prophet front page headline caught her eye as soon as she came downstairs for breakfast that mid-July morning. She grabbed the paper out of Alex’s hands.

"Hey! I was reading that!" 

"Kara…" Eliza warned.

"Fine, sorry." She sat down next to her sister and placed the paper on the table where they could both see it.

_"Technology titan Lionel Luthor was found dead in his home last night. The apparent cause of death was a heart attack, pending an autopsy. Foul play has not been ruled out, and a homicide investigation is underway._

_Luthor is the founder of the successful Luthor Corp and father of death eater, Lex Luthor, who is currently serving a life sentence in Azkaban for the kidnap and torture of Clark Kent._

_Luthor is survived by his wife, Lillian, and daughter, Lena."_

"Good riddance," Alex muttered, pouring syrup over her pancakes. 

Eliza tsked. "That’s not very nice." 

"He wasn’t very nice," she countered.

"How do you know?" Kara asked. 

"He spawned a demonic child. Two demonic children, actually. How could he be ‘nice’? Luthor Corp is a little shady also, from what I gather." 

"You know Lena, then?" Eliza asked.

"No," Kara answered quickly for her. "Not even a little bit. She’s just assuming, like she’s doing with Lionel." 

"That’s not true! I’ve had classes with Lena for four years. I think I’ve learned a little about her in that time. She’s awful." 

"She can’t be awful," Kara felt her face getting warm. "She hardly talks at all!"  

"You think that because you’ve never spent any time with her! She talks plenty, and she never has anything nice to say. Trust me, Kara. Do you think I’m a judgmental person?" Alex’s eyes were wide and pleading, her fork suspended in mid-air. 

"Well, no, but…"

"Then just trust me on this. Take my word for it." The fork finally made it’s way to her mouth. 

Kara huffed. 

"Still, this can’t be an easy time for her," Eliza said, bringing two more plates to the table and sitting down. "Try to remember that when you go back to school next month." 

" _We_ will," Kara said, glaring at Alex, who rolled her eyes. 

* * *

 

 On Kara’s first two trips on the Hogwarts Express, Alex had waited until the last minute to change into her robes. This year, however, she changed right away. Kara suspected it had something to do with the prefect badge she was currently shining. 

"I think that’s as good as it’s gonna get," Kara teased.

Alex blushed, pinning the badge to her robes. 

"Where’s Vicki?" she asked, and Alex blushed a deeper red.

"I don’t know. With her friends, I’d imagine." 

She felt her brow crease. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, Vicki probably isn’t going to be around as much anymore." 

Alex sounded like she could care less, but Kara knew better.

"What happened?" She got up and moved to sit next to her sister. 

"Nothing. It doesn’t matter. She said some things…" she trailed off. "It doesn’t matter. Have you seen Maggie?" 

"Maggie Sawyer? No, I don’t think so. Why?" 

"No reason." Alex brushed off her robes and straightened her badge.

Jimmy appeared in the doorway then with a massive grin on his face. He was sporting his usual Quidditch Captain badge, but now there was a Head Boy badge next to it. 

"You’re shitting me, right?" Alex gaped at him.

"Nope!" 

He winked at Kara, and she felt a blush creeping up her cheeks. 

"Hey, you’re a prefect!" he said, after Alex visibly deflated. "I’m not surprised. I’m sure you’ll be Quidditch Captain next year too!" 

"I would’ve been this year if you weren’t in my way! It’s just because you’re  older. If we were in the same year…" 

"Whatever you say," he laughed. "Come on, you can patrol with me." 

"What about me!" Kara yelped. 

"I’m sure Winn will find you soon," Alex said. "He probably got lost." 

Jimmy laughed, and the pair walked off down the corridor. 

Not five minutes had passed before Winn walked in. He gave her a big "I missed you" hug and sat down across from her. 

"You didn’t actually get lost, did you?" she asked skeptically. The train must have departed 20 minutes ago.

"What? No, I was talking to Lena." 

Now she was _really_ confused. 

"You were talking to Lena," she repeated. "Lena Luthor?"

"Yeah." 

"You were just casually chatting and catching up with Lena Luthor." 

"Yeah. You know, her dad passed away a couple of weeks ago." 

"Yeah, I heard. How is she doing?"

Winn shrugged. "She seems okay, considering. But you know Lena. She’s pretty hard to read." 

"Right, yeah. I know." 

She absolutely did not know. 

"Where’s Alex?" 

"Oh, she’s a Prefect this year," she said proudly. "She went with Jimmy to patrol. He’s Head Boy." 

"Oh, good. One ego wasn’t enough to contend with," he joked.

 

* * *

 

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Alex asked loudly in the middle of the Great Hall. She was standing in front of Maggie with her arms folded across her chest. 

"Careful, goody-two-shoes. Dumbledore might take that fancy badge away from you." 

"How are you Quidditch Captain? You’re a fifth year!" 

"As I understand it, there’s no minimum age," Maggie supplied.

"It’s all about talent," another Slytherin girl piped up, sliding an arm around Maggie’s waist. 

People were starting to stare now. The start-of-term feast had just concluded, and students were making their way back to their dorms. 

"Shove it, Flint," Alex snapped at her before turning back to Maggie. "I don’t understand. Montague was a shoe-in. He’s a seventh year. And it’s in his blood!" 

"I don’t know what to tell you, Danvers. Snape knows what’s best for the team. I guess McGonagall does too." 

Alex was as mad as Kara had ever seen her, and she desperately wanted her to not make a scene. 

"Let it go, Alex. Come on." 

She tried to grab her sister by the arm, but she pulled away. She looked at Winn, and he shrugged. She saw Lena smirking at them in the distance. She looked thinner than last year. Where the hell was Jimmy?

"There’s clearly a much higher standard on the Gryffindor team. We’ll let this play out on the pitch, hmm?" Alex stormed off, shoving Monica Flint with her shoulder as she passed. 

Kara sighed. Third year was going to be a long one.


	4. Go and Take My Temperature

Kara was fascinated by Maggie Sawyer. She practically oozed confidence. She reminded her a little of Jimmy, really, but Maggie was much edgier; Jimmy was as wholesome as they came. It must have been the Slytherin part of her.

She was around a lot more often now, which was weird, because Alex hated her. It would be like Lena hanging around. Well, maybe not quite. She noticed that even though Alex hated Maggie, she seemed to tolerate her presence pretty well.

Quidditch tryouts were held the third week of term, and Alex had gone to her usual place at the Gryffindor table that morning to find a flower and a letter. Alex read it in silence, and had only confided that it had been from Maggie. She didn’t say anything about the contents, but Kara assumed it was something about how she felt guilty for being made captain before Alex, judging by the rosy color on her sister's cheeks.

Alex was made chaser once again that day, unsurprisingly.

What was more surprising was that Maggie chose Lena as a chaser for the Slytherin team, replacing a 6th year player from last year. This wasn’t the only shake-up Maggie opted for, choosing to replace two of the players who were still enrolled at Hogwarts.

Kara was only in her 3rd year, but Alex explained to her how unusual it was to kick players off of the team in favor of new or younger players. Usually, she said, players stayed on the team once they were appointed. Apparently Maggie didn’t care about this tradition.

 

* * *

 

Kara was walking back from feeding the thestrals one afternoon the following week when she saw Lena, clad in quidditch uniform, about the leave the pitch. She remembered how Winn had been speaking to her on the train and thought maybe, just maybe, she had a chance at becoming her friend after all.

"Lena, hey!" she called over, breaking into a jog.

"What do you want, Danvers?"

Kara sighed. "It’s Kara…"

"Right. What do you want then?" she fumbled around inside her back, not looking at Kara.

"I just wanted to say congratulations on making the team!" Kara did her best to look happy, though she felt incredibly nervous.

"Oh. Thanks. Finally came to their senses, I guess."

"Yeah, I guess so!"

"See you later," she cut Kara off before she could start a longer conversation, and walked back towards the castle.

Kara’s smile fell.

"What’s your deal, kid?" Maggie called over after a few seconds, breaking off from her group to approach Kara. She had a cigarette in hand that she’d been smoking with her friends behind the pitch. She didn’t bother to put it out as she walked back with Kara, in full view of the castle.

"Aren’t you afraid you’re going to get in trouble?" Kara asked.

"What are they going to do, send me back to my parents?" she laughed dryly.

Kara cocked her head, trying to get the joke.

Maggie dropped the cigarette and stomped it out with the toe of her boot.

"That’s disgusting," she said.

"You’re disgusting!" Maggie replied quickly. "Sorry, reflex," she amended, at Kara’s outraged look.

She pulled out her wand and pointed it at the cigarette butt, muttering a spell, and it disappeared.

"Better?"

"Yes. Thank you."

"Sure," she chuckled. "Anyway, why do you look so glum?"

Kara exhaled loudly, trying to decide how much she wanted to disclose to Maggie.

"It’s Lena. I keep trying to talk to her, and she just shuts me down. I don’t know why she doesn’t like me."

"Hmm," she ran a hand through her hair, thoughtfully. "Well, how are you approaching her?"

"I don’t know. I’m saying hello! How else am I supposed to do it?"

Maggie laughed.

"I don’t know. Lena’s just a really quiet, private person. I would just be careful not to come on too strong. I’d imagine she scares easily. If you’re trying to get a girl to like you, you have to treat her how she wants to be treated, not how you would. You’re different people. And Lena in particular is a tricky subject, especially given everything that happened with her family. And her dad…" she trailed off.

"Then again," she continued as the Gryffindor team walked out for their own practice session, Alex coming towards them, "Maybe I’m not the best person to ask."

"What do you think you’re doing?" Alex asked dryly.

"I’m giving your sister some advice."

"About?" She crossed her arms.

"Nothing!" Kara answered quickly.

Maggie laughed, and once again Kara did not understand what was funny. The girl had a strange sense of humor.  She just knew that Alex would not approve of her trying to befriend Lena Luthor.

Maggie put a hand on Kara’s shoulder and leaned in to whisper, "Don’t worry, kid. Your secret’s safe with me."

 

* * *

For their first Hogsmeade weekend, Alex took her and Winn to the Three Broomsticks for some butterbeer.

"Oh my god, this is so good," Winn enthusiastically stammered out after his first drink, quickly gulping down some more.

"I’ll ask Madam Rosalind to get you another," Alex laughed.

She walked up to the bar and approached a very young woman, hardly out of Hogwarts from what Kara could tell. The girl laughed after Alex talked to her, and went about preparing some more drinks.

"You should slow down, Winn," Kara warned.

"There’s like hardly any alcohol in this. It’s all sugar."

"If you say so," she sipped on her own butterbeer, savoring the taste.

Alex returned to the table carrying two more drinks for her and Winn. She sat between her sister and some friends that Kara didn’t know very well.

"Can we go to Honeyduke’s next?" she asked excitedly.

"Of course!" Alex said. "I wouldn’t expect you to wait long."

The bell over the door jingled, and Maggie walked in with a few other members of the Slytherin team. She smiled when she saw them and walked over, plopping down next to Winn.

"First Hogsmeade weekend! How exciting!" she nudged Winn in the side, and he sloshed his drink slightly onto the table. "What’s on the agenda?"

"Honeyduke’s!" Kara shouted.

"Zonko’s," Winn added, smiling.

"Sure, sure. The staples. Are you going to show them the Shrieking Shack, Alex?"

"Uhh, I dunno if they’re ready for that," Alex said.

"What! I’m ready for that!" Kara said, outraged. "What is that!"

"It’s the most haunted place in all of wizarding Britain," Maggie whispered conspiratorially. "I’ll take you if she’s too scared."

"I’m not scared!"

"If you say so. It’s kind of a big kid place," she teased.

"I am a big…" Alex faltered. "I’m just as old as you are!"

"Okay then. What are you drinking?" Maggie asked, standing.

"Butterbeer," Alex stated, as though it was obvious. "That’s all we can get here."

Maggie laughed.

"That’s all _you_ can get here. Want something a little stronger? Get your nerve up for the Shrieking Shack?"

Alex rolled her eyes. "Sure."

They watched as Maggie waltzed up next to the bar. Madam Rosalind walked over to her, smiling, and Maggie leaned up against her casually, whispering to her. Rosalind blushed, using one hand to put her hair behind her ear. She walked into the back room, and soon reemerged holding two amber drinks. 

When Maggie got back to the table, she handed one of the drinks to Alex and sat back down by Winn.

"What even is this?" Alex asked.

"The Three Broomsticks and The Hog’s Head have the same drink menu, did you know?"

"No, I’ve never been to the Hog’s Head."

"I’ll take you sometime. They have their own beers. This is their main one, plus a little something extra."

She winked, and Kara saw her sister blush and roll her eyes once again.

She glanced around the pub, taking in the age and architecture of the building. It was in stark contrast to any building she'd ever seen on Krypton. Everything there seemed to be shiny somehow. It was lovely, but there was a warmth here, in the wood and stone, that she appreciated just as much.

She spotted Lena sitting in a corner, sipping on some hot drink. The two Ravenclaw girls she had sometimes seen her with were there also.

"Hey, Winn?" she started absently.

"Yep?" he responded, wiping his mouth on his sleeve.

"How do you know Lena Luther?"

Lena was talking to her companions and delicately sipping on her drink. One of the Ravenclaw girls said something, and they all laughed.

Lena was laughing.

Kara had never seen that.

"We had a class together. Well, sort of. Not really. It was like a club for arithmancy. Professor Vector hosts it in the spring. She lets 2nd years interested in joining the class the following year come to the meetings. Lena's part of the club, too."

"Oh. And you just, started talking to her? Were you paired up or something?"

"She sat next to me. We started talking that way. Why?"

"Just curious. I've tried to talk to her a few times, but she won't have it."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'd introduce you, but I don't really know her that well."

"Right, of course." Kara fiddled with her glasses. "I don't suppose she's ever… I mean, she's never said anything... about me, has she? About not liking me?"

Winn laughed.

"Whatever is going on with Lena, whatever she's said, I can almost guarantee it has nothing at all to do with you. And no, she's never said anything to me about you."

She found it incredibly annoying that Lena could seemingly be nice to Winn and these girls, but not to her. 

He placed a hand on Kara's and continued, "She's a tough one, Kara. I know you're used to everyone liking you, but I'm sure it's nothing personal."

"That's not acceptable!" she surprised herself when she said it.

Winn withdrew his hand.

"She can't just be rude to me for no reason. I haven't don't anything but be nice to her!"

"Are you talking about Lena again?" Alex chimed in.

"Yes," Winn answered.

"I told you she's bad news. Just ignore her."

"I can't!" Kara whined.

"Why?" Alex's voice was pleading.

"I don't know! Because I just want to understand. Is she this way because she's in pain? Is it me? I feel like I need to fix it if I did something!"

"Maggie, you share a dorm with Lena, right?" Alex turned to her.

"Uh huh," she glanced apprehensively between the two sisters.

"What's your take on her?"

"Well, I don't know. She's really quiet. She's never been mean to me, if that's what you're getting at. She's a little bit of a snob, I guess. She doesn't socialize with the rest of us. Walks around with her nose up a little. She doesn't even change with us."

"What do you mean?" Winn asked.

"Well, you know girls... Okay, you don't. Girls tend to just get changed in the dorm into pajamas and quidditch robes and stuff, nobody really cares. But Lena goes full into the bathroom and locks the door. She's the only one who does that. I've always thought it was kind of weird."

"Maybe she's shy?" Kara asked.

"She doesn't really strike me as the shy type," Maggie laughed. "I’m pretty sure I overheard a pretty heavy makeout session coming from behind her curtains once."

"Maggie!" Alex reprimanded, her cheeks tinged pink. 

As Maggie laughed harder, Kara felt her face getting hot. 

"With who?" She meant for it to sound curious, but instead it came out a little demanding.

Maggie raised her eyebrows at her, and Kara, just noticing her hands clenched in fists in her lap, picked up her butterbeer and casually took a drink. 

"Beats me. I fell asleep before the person left." She quickly amended, "If they left," winking at Kara. 

Kara cleared her throat and took another big drink of her butterbeer. 

She wasn’t sure why Lena’s love life made her so flustered. She figured it was because she didn’t actually have a love life of her own, or really know about anyone else’s, and this was all kind of embarrassing to talk about out loud. 

 

* * *

 

Three weeks after the Christmas holiday was apparently when everyone got back into the swing of things for the new year. Alex and James had Quidditch practice and Winn had to meet with a first year he was supposed to tutor in transfiguration for the next few months. 

That’s how Kara came to find herself alone in Hogsmeade on Saturday afternoon. The benefit to that was that she could spend as much time as she wanted in the food shops without boring her friends.

She was just making her way back from the the pastry shop when she spotted Lena coming out of Bundles of Books carrying a large bag over her shoulder. Kara expected her to turn towards the path to Hogwarts like she was, but instead she began walking right towards her.

She wore a thick grey coat and jeans. Though her hair was normally up in a tight ponytail, she wore it down today, probably to accommodate the beanie she was wearing. Kara approved of the change. 

Kara held her breath as Lena got closer, and she could spot the exact moment Lena noticed her. She caught her gaze and stared back for a moment as she walked by, not saying a word.

Kara hesitated for several seconds before turning to watch Lena head further into the village. She shifted her weight between her feet and took a nervous bite of her scone as she tried to mentally talk herself out of following the older girl. 

It was of no use. 

Lena turned a corner at the end of the street, and Kara jogged ahead to see which shop she’d go into, but she wasn’t going to a shop at all.

She’d never been to The Hog’s Head before. Alex said the barkeeper was a grouch and that there was never anyone else in there, so she’d always stuck to the more warm and social Three Broomsticks. 

She gulped down the rest of her scone and found a waste bin to toss the empty bag in. After checking herself for crumbs or anything else embarrassing, she walked into the pub.

The door squeaked loudly as she entered, and she figured that given the lack of a bell, that served to inform the barkeeper of her presence. She gave a cursory glance around and didn’t see Lena, or anyone else for that matter. It was somehow even colder in here than it was outside, and she pulled her jacket more snuggly around her.

After a few moments, an old man appeared and made a grumbling noise at her. She generously interpreted this to mean, "What can I get for you?" 

"Uh, hi. I’ll have anything you have that’s warm." 

He nodded congenially and disappeared once more. 

She shoved her hands into her coat pockets and waited, giving the pub a more thorough look. 

When she turned around fully, she saw Lena tucked into a corner booth with a stack of books on the table. She was not engrossed in the books, but was instead staring directly and unabashedly at Kara. 

"What do you think you’re doing?" the girl asked, her voice tinged with annoyance.

"I’m getting something warm to drink. It’s really cold outside." 

"Well what did you expect? That Hogsmeade would be warmer than Hogwarts, given that it’s more inland? It is _January_ ," she snarked, condescendingly. "I just saw you ten feet from the Three Broomsticks. You followed me." 

Kara opened and closed her mouth a few times, trying to find an explanation.

"Come here and sit down," Lena said. 

She hesitated. She must have heard wrong.

"You’re asking me to sit with you?" 

This was going both better _and_ worse than Kara had expected.

"I’m telling you to sit with me," she corrected.

Kara slid into the round booth, careful not to scoot to close the the back of the bench where Lena was comfortably situated, having already shed her hat and coat.

"What exactly are you trying to do here?" Lena asked directly. "What are you hoping to accomplish by following me?" 

"I don’t know," she answered honestly, exhaling. "I just wanted to know where you were going, and-"

"But that’s none of your business!" Lena cut her off. "Don’t you understand that?"

Kara couldn’t take it anymore. 

"Why are you so rude to me!" 

Lena laughed at that. 

"You drive me crazy! How am I supposed to react? I’ve asked you directly to leave me alone, but you won’t!"

"Maybe you shouldn’t be so quick to push people away!" 

Her laugh died away just as quickly as it had come.

"What’s that supposed to mean?"

"No one likes you, Lena! Have you not noticed that?" 

She tried to will herself to stop talking, but years of frustration came pouring out of her like a freight train. 

"You’re a Luthor, and people hate you for it! I’m actually willing to get to know you for you, and you won’t give me the time of day! How do you expect to make friends or allies when you’re a bitch to everyone you meet?"

Lena seemed surprised at her straightforwardness. She blinked a few times and leaned back in her seat as the old man brought two steaming mugs to the table. 

Kara squirmed uncomfortably under her gaze as the man set the drinks down — "Thank you," she heard herself mumble out of compulsion — and disappeared behind the bar once again. 

The older girl picked up her mug and took a sip, never breaking her stare. 

Kara could feel her heart pounding in her chest and all throughout her body as she waited for the other shoe to drop. 

"There are five types of people at this school, Danvers." 

Kara didn’t bother correcting her this time.

"The first type, they’re afraid of me." 

She raised her eyebrows intimidatingly, and Kara decided she could understand where those people were coming from.

"They don’t know me at all," she continued. "They just know of Lex, the evil creature who unfortunately shares my name. They assume that I must be capable of the same atrocities, and so they fear me.

"The second type hate me for the same reasons. The James Olsens of the school. The Alexes. They tend to be self-righteous, judgmental, Gryffindor pricks. These are the people you run with, Danvers. They are why you assume _everyone_ hates me. You live in a small world. 

"The third type love me," she said, and Kara noticed her jaw clench. "They don’t know me either, but oh how they want to. These are the worst of them all. They’re the children of death eaters, mostly. They’re fascinated by the power in the Luthor name. They are hateful and disgusting.

"The fourth type are the only ones I like. They leave me the fuck alone. They know they don’t know me, because they are rational human beings. They don’t have an option one way or another. They’re usually muggle-borns who weren’t around during the war.

"You, Miss Danvers, are the fifth type. Do you have any idea what that might be?"

She shook her head dumbly and sipped on her drink. It was thick and sweet and lemony, she noted absently.

"You think you need to _save_ me," she practically spat out the words. "You pity me, and you’ve taken it upon yourself to come to my rescue."

"That isn’t true!" she objected.

"Isn’t it? Tell me then, what exactly drew you in here today? Is it everything we have in common? Do you keep approaching me because you know we would get along so well? You don’t know me at all! You know nothing about me. You have no reason to approach me except for a sense of pity. You see me alone and feel the need to rectify the situation. Sure, one or two of your type will pop up every so often, but none are as resilient as you, Danvers. None have lasted the test of time like you have."

Judging by the slight snarl in her lips, it was clearly not a compliment.

"Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I like being alone? Has it ever occurred to you that maybe there’s a way I’d rather spend my time than socializing?"

She dropped her hand heavily onto the stack of books as she said it, and Kara only then realized they were textbooks, but not ones she’d ever seen before.

"Hear this, Kara Danvers: I don’t need a hero, and I don’t want one."

Her gut told her that Lena was wrong about her intentions. Kara was sure she didn’t ‘pity’ Lena.

"Please leave. Now."

For once, she listened. 


	5. Low on Self Esteem, so You Run on Gasoline

"My parents are dead," she said without preamble.

Winn choked on his soup.

"I know, Kara," he said between coughs. "I’m really sorry. That must be hard." 

" _Thank you_. That is the appropriate reaction, I think, to someone who’s had something tragic happen to them. Isn’t it? Feeling compassion and sorrow?"

"Uuhhh… yes?" 

He looked more confused than she’d ever seen him. 

"I just mean, I’m not offended by it," she clarified.

"Okay. That’s good."

"You wouldn’t be offended either, would you?"

"If I said my parents were dead and you said you were sorry? No, I don’t suppose I would." 

"Exactly." 

His eyebrows were raised in question.

"What the heck are we talking about, Kara?" 

She sighed dramatically. 

"Lena says the reason she doesn’t like me is because I pity her." 

"Ah," he said, finally understanding. "I didn’t realize you talked to her." 

"She asked me to sit with her at The Hog’s Head and then she chewed me out." 

"Winn!" 

A small Hufflepuff girl who must have been a first year came running over, followed by two others. 

"Winn, these are my friends, Sara and Daisy!" 

The two girls waved shyly.

"Well hello, ladies!” Winn turned around to face them and smiled kindly. "It’s lovely to meet you!"

"You too!" they said, giggling, and ran back to the Hufflepuff table. Apparently that was all they had to say.

Winn turned back around, and Kara stared at him expectantly.

"Who’s your fan club?" she asked, teasing.

"Oh, that? That was Mallory. She’s the one I’m tutoring in transfiguration. Those were her friends. I’m kind of a big deal in the first year circle," he joked, and she laughed with him.

"I’m shocked I’ve made it this long without getting put with a potions tutor. I thought this spring would be the time for sure. It’s bound to happen eventually."

"Well with that attitude, Kara Danvers!" Winn smiled, kicking her gently under the table. "I’m sure you’ll get it eventually. It’s in your blood. Alex is great at potions."

"Alex is great at a lot of things that I’m terrible at. But that okay, because I have my own strengths." 

She laughed at her own inside joke, and Winn smiled at her.

"So anyway," he said, "Lena asked you to sit with her and then things went sour and she yelled at you?"

"Well, not exactly. She may have just had me sit with her so I was more accessible to scold."

"That makes more sense," he laughed. "Why were you in The Hog’s Head anyway?"

"Well, I saw Lena go in-"

"Oh, Kara."

"I just wanted to talk to her!" she whimpered.

"And apparently you did. Are you satisfied?" 

"No," she said, playing with her food.

"Just to play devil’s advocate here, do you think she might have a point?"

"What?! You just said you agree that feeling sorry for someone isn’t a bad thing!"

"I don’t think it is a bad thing! But it also might not be the best way to start a friendship. ‘Hi, I feel sorry for you. Let me make it better,’" he mocked.

"That’s not fair. That’s not what I’m doing."

"Isn’t it?"

"No! First of all, you know that if I saw anyone perpetually alone, I would go talk to them. It’s not about her family." 

"I know that. She may not. Continue."

"I hear the way people talk about her, Winn. We both do. They’re assholes. I don’t want to be one of them. I don’t want to be like Alex and James when it comes to Lena. I want to get to know her so I that I can form my own opinion.

"And I do _not_ think she’s weak. She implied that I do, but I don’t. I don’t think I can make anything better for her. I just know that she usually comes up against unkind people, and I want to be some kindness in her life. I don’t want to be another face she has to avoid."

"So tell her that," he said simply.  

"She really, really doesn’t want to hear it. She made that very clear. All she wants is for me to leave her alone, and I think the nicest thing I can do right now is listen. It just really bothers me that she thinks I look down on her or something, because I don’t." 

 

* * *

"Woooo, yeah Maggie!" Winn shouted from the stands, waiving a Slytherin flag in the air after she scored.

"That’s a good way to get beat up," Jimmy said, giving him a playful shove.

"It’s not really for Slytherin; it’s just for her."

"We know that, but it could easily be misconstrued! You need a Maggie Sawyer flag."

"I’ll get right on that," he said. "Somewhere between homework and tutoring and extracurricular clubs I’ll _make a flag_ for a girl I kind of know and think is nice." 

"Alright, fine. I get your point."

Jimmy grabbed the flag out of his hand and waived it in the air.

"Well done, Maggie!" he shouted. 

She smiled at them as she whizzed by. 

"You guys do realize that she’s our opponent, right?" Alex asked.

"She’s also our friend," Kara answered, wrapping an arm around her sister’s shoulders. 

Her eyes searched the pitch until she found Lena, flying effortlessly near the Slytherin hoops as she watched the quaffle intently. When the Ravenclaw chasers approached and attempted a pass, Lena slipped between them and snatched it, flying back towards the Ravenclaw hoops and hurling it to Monica Flint, who scored. 

Alex groaned loudly. 

" _She_ ’s not our friend, so I can be upset about that, right?" 

"You’re so competitive, Alex! It’s a good match. Try to enjoy it!" Jimmy said. 

Lena flew back towards the Slytherin goals. That was the third time she’d intercepted a pass and Kara wondered if the Ravenclaw chasers were ever going to figure out a way around her. 

Kara couldn’t seem to tear her eyes away from the girl. Her hair was pulled back into a tight ponytail, per usual, and her mouth was in a tight line. She had never seen Lena so focused on anything, which was saying something, because she was generally extremely focused on her reading. 

A Ravenclaw chaser flew forward independently of his teammates towards the goals, and Lena made a dash for him. One of the Ravenclaw beaters hurled a bludger at her, which she deftly avoided. She flew up beside the Ravenclaw chaser and bumped his shoulder, confidently releasing her broomstick with one hand, reaching for the quaffle, and finally with the other hand, giving him a good shove and swiping it for herself. 

"Shit," Jimmy muttered. "It’s a good thing she was new when we played her. She’ll be a force next year, Alex. Watch out for her." 

"I always do," Alex responded snidely.

Kara sighed loudly, and Alex looked at her, responding to her sigh with a warning "Don’t."

Kara hadn’t spoken to Lena since that day at The Hog’s Head, and it was driving her crazy. A month had gone by, and she hadn’t figured out a solution to their problem. 

For this afternoon, she settled for watching Maggie and Lena destroy the Ravenclaw quidditch team. Tonight, however, she had another idea.

 

* * *

_Dear Lena…_

Ugh, no. That sounded too personal. 

She was sitting at a desk in the common room after everyone else had gone to bed. She had decided a letter was the best way to address Lena without violating her "leave me alone" policy.

_Lena,_

_Pity: The feeling of sorrow and compassion caused by the sufferings and misfortunes of others._

_I’m giving you this definition to first explain how I don’t think it’s a bad thing. There is nothing inherently wrong with pity, in my opinion. I would consider myself to be  compassionate person. At least, I strive to be a compassionate person._

_You have suffered misfortune, and I don’t think you would deny that. Me feeling compassion for your misfortune is not a bad thing._

Kara huffed, crinkling the parchment into a ball and starting again. 

_Lena,_

_I’m sorry for offending you. It was never my intention to make you feel patronized or belittled. I don't look down on you or think you’re weak, or anything like that. And if you were in need of help, I don’t think so highly of myself to assume I could be the one to do the helping._

_You pointed out that people around me have judged you without knowing you. I’ve heard it, and I don’t like it. My only intent was to get to know you so that I could form my own opinion._

_There is probably some truth to what you said, that I feel sorry for what you’ve been through. I don’t mean for that to be a bad thing. I feel compassion for what you’ve had to put up with because I don’t think it’s fair to you. I feel empathetic, because I’ve been through some bad times myself._

_I do feel the need to point out, however, that you’ve judged me without knowing me, something you claim to be annoyed by yourself. You never asked me my intentions. You made an assumption about me, and that isn’t completely fair._

_I heard you this time, when you asked me to leave you alone. I won’t bother you anymore._

_Kara_

She put her quill down. That would have to do. 

She carefully folded the parchment and stuffed in into an enveloped. She poured some hot wax onto the envelope and sealed it with a "D." She desperately wanted a seal with the House of El crest, but the Danvers wouldn’t go for it. 

"What’s that?" Alex asked, coming down the stairs.

"Nothing," Kara answered. "Homework." 

"Good for you!" Alex answered.

She was only slightly offended.

"You say that like I never do it!" 

"Come on, let’s go grab a midnight snack," Alex said, laughing.

"What? Are you kidding?"

"I wouldn’t joke to you about snacks."

"But how is that possible!" 

"I _maybe_ know where the kitchens are," Alex said, smirking.

"No way. No way have I been here almost three years and you’re just telling me this _now_."

"I wasn’t sure you were mature enough to handle it before. I figured you wouldn’t get any sleep; you’d just stay in the kitchens from dinner until breakfast."

"You’re hilarious," she deadpanned. "Give me just a sec and then we’ll go." 

She ran back up to her dorm and put the letter in the pocket of her robes, making a note to give it to Maggie for delivery the next time she saw her. 

 

* * *

She had given the letter to Maggie on Tuesday evening, so the fact that Lena came to breakfast on Wednesday morning openly staring at her shouldn’t have been surprising. 

The girl's gaze was intense and appraising, and Kara, seated behind a table and in full robes, felt completely exposed. 

Lena was wearing just her sweater and skirt, Kara noted. She was not as unusually skinny as she’d been at the beginning of the year. She looked more muscular and fit now, probably due to the quidditch. 

She met Lena’s piercing green eyes and flushed, feeling her heart rate increase dramatically. She awkwardly looked down at her plate, pushing her eggs around with a fork, and pretended to be listening to whatever Winn was talking about. 

When she looked back up, Lena was still watching her. The older girl nodded at her once, and Kara assumed that was the only response to the letter she would ever receive. 

And she would take it. 

 

* * *

In late May, she managed to get lost in the castle again. Three years she had been there. Three years of not being able to navigate around her literal home. 

She finally turned a corner to find a corridor she recognized. She was relieved, and she was sure it was the only time she ever had been or ever would be relieved to find herself outside of Snape’s office. 

Much to her dismay, the door opened before she had a chance to pass it. 

Dumbledore walked out first, and Lena followed behind him. Dumbledore placed a hand on her shoulder and whispered something to her. She nodded at him, and then noticed Kara.

Her eyes were blank and glassy, and she seemed to look right through her. 

She turned to walk back towards the rest of the castle, but Dumbledore smiled kindly at Kara and walked over to her. 

"Ah, Kara Danvers. Just the girl I was looking for."

"M-me, headmaster?" she stammered. She had rarely spoken to the man before.

"Who else?" he smiled, his eyes twinkling. "I wanted to inform you of a summer program we’re hosting this year. There is a special course for Defense Against the Dark Arts. It is by no means required, but I thought it might be of special interest to you. There will be one guest lecturer every week, you see. Mostly aurors, but not all. One of them will be Clark Kent, who I believe you are quite familiar with."

He winked at her, and she smiled. She knew Dumbledore was aware of the relation, even though most weren’t. 

"Please let Alex know as well. We would be lucky to have the two of you."

"That sounds really interesting," she said, fiddling with her glasses. "I’d like to stay, thank you. I’ll talk to Alex and Eliza and let you know for sure by the end of the week?" 

"That would be just fine," he smiled.

 

* * *

"Pleeeease, Alex," she whined later that night.

She knew Eliza would be okay with it. She just didn’t want to stay without Alex.

"He said Clark would come give a lesson, and he implied Harry, Ron, and Hermione would too."

Alex’s ears perked up at this wild exaggeration. 

"Really?"

"I mean, he didn’t flat out say it. But it sounded like maybe they might!" 

"Kara…" 

"Please, Alex. It sounds like it could be really interesting. I bet the class will be small and specialized. He said the guest lecturers would be mostly aurors. Those could be some really good connections for you!"

Alex rubbed her face in her hands.

"But mom…"

"Can take care of herself," Kara finished. "She would want you to do what you want to do, and so do I. Stay if you’d like, and don’t feel guilty about it, but go home if you’d rather. Okay? I’m going to stay though."

Alex considered her words for a moment.

"I want to stay," she said resolutely. 

 

* * *

The following morning, Lena was not at breakfast. It only took until the Daily Prophet arrived for Kara to find out why.

**_Lillian Luthor Uncovered as Leader of Project Cadmus_ **

"Oh, no," she said into her waffles.

"Whassamatter?" Winn mumbled out, still sleepy.

She handed him the paper after she finished glancing over the article. 

It gave a brief description of Cadmus, a terrorist organization that had declared war on extraterrestrials and had implied a particular distaste for muggles, including muggle-borns as well. It also explained how Lillian Luthor had gone missing since being outed as the leader, and was currently in hiding. 

"Oh, no," he repeated. 

"‘Oh, no’ what?" Alex asked, sitting down next to Kara.

She resisted the urge to hurl the paper across the room, figuring Alex would find out sooner or later anyway.

Alex read the article in silence. 

"Am I supposed to be surprised?" she said, apparently more concerned with fixing her plate.

Maggie walked over shortly after, carrying a copy of the Daily Prophet. She looked directly at Kara.

"Did you see the paper?"

"Yeah, I saw it. Lena’s not at breakfast. Did she stay in the dorm?"

"She wasn’t there when I went to bed or when I got up. I don’t think she ever came back last night." 

How do you not pity someone when crappy things happen to them? That was Kara’s question of the day. The only thing she knew for sure was that she shouldn’t look for Lena, so she didn’t.

She went to Dumbledore’s office and told him she and Alex would be staying over the summer, which he seemed pleased about. She asked if anyone could stay, and he responded in the affirmative. Hogwarts was always open to all who wanted to be there. 

Winn jumped at the opportunity to learn more about Defense Against the Dark Arts, and Maggie had responded with, "Well yeah, I’ll be here," as though it was obvious. 

Kara had never been so excited for a summer not-break, but she wondered sadly what Lena would do, given that her entire immediate family was now unavailable to her.


	6. Addicted to the Fire

Even though they were all staying, Kara, Alex, and Winn escorted Jimmy down to the train on the last day of term. They all gave him a hug and said their farewells. Jimmy told her to take good care of herself, and she knew that meant to keep her head down.

It was going to be weird not having their elected big brother around anymore. Besides Alex, he was the only student who knew her secret. She hadn’t even told Winn. It seemed pointless since she wasn’t actually allowed to use any of her abilities, and Alex was insistent that as few people know as possible.

When they got back to the common room, they rushed back up to their respective dormitories.

Kara opened her trunk and haphazardly tossed all of her belongings inside, not bothering to organize it.

They had received notice from McGonagall the night before that they would be relocating to Ravenclaw Tower for the summer. Apparently only a small number of students were staying behind, so it made sense for them to all be in one place.

She closed the lid on her overflowing trunk and used one arm to force it shut long enough to latch it. She picked it up and carried it down the stairs to the common room to find that Alex and Winn weren’t there yet. She plopped down into the couch cushions and tapped her foot impatiently.

She had never been to another common room before, and she was excited to see what it looked like. She was also excited to bunk with some new girls. She liked the once she’d been with just fine, but she was anxious to make some new friends. It felt like she was going to camp!

Alex came down the stairs a few minutes later, and Winn followed.

"We’re supposed to be there by 10, you guys! Come on!" she insisted.

"It’s 9:30," Alex said. "We have plenty of time."

"So you know where you’re going then? Because whenever I’m going somewhere new I always schedule at least 45 minutes to find it."

"Yes, I know where I’m going," her sister answered in exasperation. "And maybe with some of our free time this summer I can give you your umpteenth tour."

"The castle’s huge! And the stairs move!"

Winn and Alex laughed with her.

It took them almost twenty minutes to walk there, mostly because Winn was having trouble lugging his trunk around the castle.

"How are you guys not exhausted?" he had asked, huffing and puffing.

When they arrived, the door to the common room was open and Professor Flitwick was waiting inside with a clipboard.

"Welcome! Welcome! Come inside!"

She followed her sister through the door and looked around.

"This will be your common room for the next few months. There is no password to enter, but rather a riddle. When you answer correctly, you will be granted entry. I have no doubt that any of you will have difficulty, as you are all among my brightest students," he finished kindly.

The common room was a large, round room decorated in blue and bronze. It seemed somehow classier than the Gryffindor common room, though maybe not as cozy. It was much airier. She spotted windows all around them and and made her way towards one, taking in a breathtaking view of the lake.

"Now let me see here, Alex Danvers… Danvers…" Flitwick said, looking at his clipboard. "Ah! Here you are.

"This is the door to both the girls’ and boys’ dormitories," he gestured to a door next to a statue of Rowena Ravenclaw as he spoke. "Alex and Kara, you will take the staircase to the left, and Winn, you will take the staircase to the right.

"Alex, you’re in the second dormitory, which will be the second door you see as you make your way up the staircase. Kara… let me see."

He looked at his clipboard once again and continued, "You will use the first door you encounter. And Winn…"

Alex looked at Kara and shrugged. They had been wondering if they might be placed in the same dorm for a change.

"You will likewise use the first door. These will be your dormitories for the remainder of the summer. If you have any questions, feel free to track me down, or any of your respective heads of house!"

He gave them all a friendly smile, and then excitedly ushered in two older Hufflepuff girls who had just arrived.

"Well I guess let’s go unpack, and then we can meet back down here in a bit?" Alex asked, and the other two nodded at her.

Kara went directly for the girls' staircase, but Alex decided to carry Winn’s suitcase to his room for him before she followed suite.

"What?" he asked Kara, looking more relieved than embarrassed. "She’s stronger than I am, and she’s a gentlelady. I can accept that."

She laughed and made her way up the staircase alone.

When she entered her new dormitory, she saw six beds total. Three of them already had personal items scattered about them, and one of them even had an occupant.

"Hey, kid!" Maggie shouted excitedly, tossing her magazine down and jumping off of the bed to wrap her in a hug.

"Hi Maggie! Oooh, this is so exciting! It’s like a slumber party!" she clapped her hands together.

"Take this one!" Maggie said, grabbing Kara’s trunk and dragging it to the unoccupied bunk next to her. "Jesus Christ, what do you have in here? Bricks?"

"Just the essentials!" she defended. 

Maggie laughed.

"Where’s Alex?"

"She’s in the next room up."

"Ah, bummer," she said, her voice tinged with disappointment. "Oh well. At least we all get to share a common room for a while! I caught a glimpse of Flitwick’s list, and I think it’s just the two dormitories being used on either side. There shouldn’t be too many of us."

The door opened then, and one of the older Hufflepuffs walked in.

"Hi! I’m Ava."

She had a friendly smile, and Kara loved her immediately.

The girl chose one of the empty beds on the other side of Maggie, which just left one empty bed next to hers.

"Do you know who’s in those two beds?" Kara asked Maggie.

"A couple of Ravenclaws. They beat us all here; didn’t have to go very far. I think they went to Hogsmeade for the afternoon."

"Oh, that sounds like fun! We should do that!" Maggie looked agreeable. "Do you want to come, Ava?"

"Thanks, I would, but I actually have plans. My boyfriend stayed too, and we’re going to spend the day on the grounds."

"That sounds nice," Kara said, slightly jealous.

She knew she shouldn’t be. It wasn’t as though she was pining after some boy who wasn’t interested. She just hadn’t met anyone promising yet. The only person she had even had a real crush on so far was Jimmy, and she knew that was ridiculous.

"He’s _way_ too old for you," Alex had said plainly one night after noticing her sister's moon eyes.

It wasn’t until Alex shut her down about the idea that she even realized what her feelings were, so there was no heartbreak there.

 

* * *

When they returned to Hogwarts for dinner that night, they went directly to the Great Hall. There was a single table with food on, and several students were already seated.

From her count, there were about a dozen girls, mostly her age and older, and slightly fewer boys. She recognized most of them, though she didn’t really know them.

The person who caught her eye immediately was Lena Luthor. She was seated next to a Slytherin boy Kara knew as Mike. He was a year older than Kara. She had never spoken to him, but she recognized him as a beater for the Slytherin quidditch team.

Dumbledore came to greet them, giving them an informal welcome to the summer term, and encouraged them to get to know their new house-mates.

Kara and her friends made their way back up to Ravenclaw tower, and Alex quickly answered the riddle the eagle door knocker asked. Kara immediately went upstairs to change into pajamas.

She noticed that the bed next to hers now had a trunk next to it, and she hoped it was Lena’s.

She hoped it was Lena’s? She surprised herself slightly. Of course she hoped it was Lena’s, she justified. She wouldn’t want Lena and Alex in the same room. That would be a disaster.

She took inventory of the items that had been unpacked at the anonymous bunk, though it was sparse. While most bedside tables contained photos, this one did not. There were a couple of books, a candle, and a clock.

That could definitely be Lena.

It could also be anyone else who knew how to read both English and time and liked to see in the dark.

When no one entered the room after several minutes, she made her way back downstairs for a game night with the others.

 

* * *

 

_It had to be Lena_ , she thought.

She was lying in bed with her curtain open facing the empty bed. She turned on her side and stared at it expectantly.

She hadn’t seen Lena come back to the common room that night, and frankly, she was worried. It had only been a couple of weeks since Lillian Luthor had fled, and that couldn’t be easy for Lena.

She grabbed her wand and used a spell to turn the mystery girl’s clock towards her.

_1:17 a.m._

She huffed in impatience.

She was listening to the sound of the wind whistling against the tower windows and fighting the urge to fall asleep when the door finally creaked open.

"Lumos," she heard a feminine voice whisper, and her heart immediately began pounding in her chest.

She lay completely still while she waited for the girl to come into her field of vision.

She heard a scratching at the table between their beds, and quickly looked up at it. The clock had returned to its original position.

When she looked back down a second later, Lena was walking quietly towards the empty bed.

She sat down and met Kara’s eyes, seemingly unsurprised to see her. She didn’t speak immediately, but leaned over to take off her shoes.

Kara pulled the covers up more tightly to her chest.

"You should be asleep."

Lena’s voice was barely audible. She stood back up and walked to the wardrobe next to her bed, opening it and fishing around inside.

"We stayed up late playing games," she heard herself whisper.

"I see," Lena said, and Kara thought she saw the hint of a slight smirk on the other girl's face, though she couldn’t be sure.

She pulled a few items of clothing out of the wardrobe and closed the doors, turning back to Kara.

"Well you aren’t playing games anymore, so you can sleep now, yes?"

Her voice sounded tired, and her Irish accent was thicker and deeper than Kara had heard before.

"Yes," she whispered in response.

Lena definitely smirked this time, grabbing the edge of the curtain to Kara’s bed and pulling it closed.


	7. Fire in My Bloodstream, Water in My Lungs

 Kara awoke to a heavy feeling on her chest.

She opened her eyes, and found large, green ones staring back at her.

_Meow_

Kara laughed and wiped at her eyes sleepily.

"Well good morning to you, too," she said, scratching the cat behind the ears, and felt him begin to purr.

The curtain to her bed was torn back, and Lena looked at Toby in surprise, and then Kara.

"I don't..." she started lamely, before addressing the cat. "Toby!" 

She grabbed him off of Kara without hesitation, and plopped him back down on her own bed.

_Meow_ , he responded enthusiastically.

"He's never done that before," she said in bewilderment, still staring at him.

Kara wasn't sure if that was an apology, or just a statement.

"Uh, that's okay," she said, sitting up and turning to sit on the edge of her bed.

When Lena turned back to Kara, she noticed the older girl was straightening the knot on her tie. She was wearing her typical class attire, a black skirt and fitted white button-up, despite the fact that their summer lesson didn't start until the next day.

"It's Sunday, right?" Kara asked, trying to politely remind the other girl.

Lena raised her eyebrows and grabbed the sweater laid out on her bed.

"Yes, it's Sunday. Shall I get you a calendar to keep by your bed?" She pulled the sweater over her head.

This all felt strangely intimate, watching Lena get ready for the day. The girl always had an unreal elegance about her. There was never a hair out of place. She had been sure Lena slept and woke already impeccably dressed.

"I don't think that will be necessary," Kara laughed, and it turned into a yawn.

Lena quietly observed Kara for a moment before responding, and she ignored the urge to crawl back under the covers. Kara could see through walls, but she was sure Lena could see right into her soul.

"No? Perhaps your own clock, then?" she asked meaningfully, though not unkindly.

Kara felt herself blush, but before she could come up with a response, Lena was already headed for the door.

She groaned and rolled back into bed.

 

* * *

  

The following day they were introduced to their summer instructor, an auror known as Hank Henshaw. He was a muscular man with a gruff voice and a tired face. 

Alex thought he was amazing. 

He seemed very knowledgeable, but Kara thought him unnecessarily grouchy and strict for teaching a summer class. It wasn’t a  _real_  class, after all. 

The actual instruction took up very little of their time. They only spent about an hour a day in class. They were also allowed access to the DADA classroom for an additional three hours a day for "study hall" so that they could practice what they had learned, if they wished. Their homework typically consisted of perfecting spells rather than writing papers, which Kara greatly appreciated. 

Because many of the students were at different levels, Professor Henshaw made an effort to adapt the lessons and assign work individually whenever possible. Basically this meant that Alex, Lena, Maggie, and their dormmate Ava were assigned additional, difficult tasks. 

Kara attempted one of Alex's more advanced spells in study hall at the end of week two. Her failed effort destroyed two desks. In a panic, she turned her head quickly towards Professor Henshaw who had been observing and assisting the students. To her great relief, this was the first time she saw him smile. 

He walked over and began repairing the tables. "Stick to your own assignments, Danvers," he grumbled.

Maybe he wasn’t so bad.

 

* * *

 

She had definitely made up the information that any one of the Golden Trio would be there as a guest instructor, but right there on the syllabus, clear as day, was the name "Harry Potter." 

"I _told_ you," she said to Alex after class.

"It was a lucky guess!" Alex responded. "And anyway, did you see this list? This is incredible."

They were gathering together in one corned of the classroom. Professor Henshaw had dismissed them 15 minutes early to practice a particularly tricky smokescreen spell.

"Do you want to be an auror?" Maggie asked.

"What? No, not really. I don’t know. I was always into science at muggle school. I haven’t really found my thing here. Maybe I’ll apply charms to … something. Maybe I’ll go into healing magic."

"I like science, too," Winn chimed in. "Maybe arithmancy?" he directed at Alex.

"That’s your thing, man," she laughed, throwing an arm around his shoulders. "What about you, Maggie?"

"I, uh, I don’t know. I guess being an auror would be interesting. I’d really just like to stick to quidditch, but that seems kind of far fetched," she chuckled, seeming almost embarrassed.

"You’re a great quidditch player, Maggie!" Kara said. 

"You’re _okay_ ," Alex teased. 

Maggie gave a true laugh this time, and shoved her. 

"I can’t believe Clark is coming next week!" Kara said to Alex, who promptly stopped laughing.

“ _Clark_? Do you know him or something?" Winn asked.

Oh, right. 

"Our parents are friends," Alex answered quickly. "We haven’t seen him in a long time."

This wasn’t technically a lie. It just wasn’t the whole truth. 

When Kara’s pod had fallen out of the phantom zone and finally landed on Earth, Clark was already a student at Hogwarts. The Kents were close friends with the Danvers, and they thought that Kara would benefit from having another child around the house to learn the customs of Earth. The Danvers were already aware of Clark’s origins, and were thrilled to welcome Kara into their home as their daughter. 

"I’m just really excited to see him again," Kara added honestly. 

"Are you guys talking about Clark Kent?" Mike, the Slytherin boy, called over to their group. 

She saw Lena whisper something to him, and he laughed.

"What of it?" Alex asked defensively.

"He works for the Daily Prophet, right? He’s not an auror. Why would he come as a guest instructor?” 

"Oh, Clark knows plenty about defending against the dark arts," Alex said. "Just ask your friend." She guestered at Lena.

Lena scowled in return, and her wand hand twitched noticeably. 

"Enough, Miss Danvers," Professor Henshaw chastised her gently before turning to Mike. "Many aurors have never experienced the dark arts like Mr. Kent has. He is coming to share some of his experience with you. Learning the skills to defend yourself is one thing, but knowing what it’s like to be in a position to actually use them is another. Our hope is that he, as well as Mr. Potter and a few of the others, can help to enlighten you about what that’s like." 

 

* * *

 

Clark’s visit was the highlight of her week. 

Jeremiah’s birthday was the weekend after Clark was scheduled to speak, which meant Alex was in a _mood_. Kara knew this mood was born of genuine pain, but it didn’t make her any easier to deal with.

But Clark came, and he gave a talk, and he was hope personified. He had been through so much, but his outlook remained so positive. Even the most cynical of the Slytherins seemed enraptured by him. 

He talked about how he had been taken as a captive — by Lex Luthor, but he left out the name. He also left out that the reason for his capture was Voldemort’s fascination with his superhuman abilities, which he had been informed of by Lex. In the chaos of the second wizarding war, the public understanding was simply that Voldemort had come to believe that Clark possessed some power over him, but that he was mistaken. Voldemort didn’t want anyone to believe that there was a person, human or otherwise, who possessed more power than he did. Therefore few individuals knew the truth of Clark’s abilities. 

He talked about how it had felt to be powerless, to be tortured, to be held as a prisoner. He talked about how important it is to maintain hope when all feels lost. 

And then he took questions.

Alex’s hand shot into the air.

"Yes, Miss Danvers?"

"Isn’t it true that Lex Luthor is the one who kidnapped you and took you to Voldemort?" 

Kara glanced at Lena, and she was stony-faced. 

"Yes, that is true." 

"Do you know much about his involvement as a death eater?"

"I… I don’t think he was a death eater. Not really. He was just a kid." 

"An evil kid," she clarified for him.

Lena’s expression of indifference didn’t falter.

Clark cleared his throat awkwardly. 

"Any other questions?"

"I was wondering if you may be able to answer this, as a reporter," Alex continued without further prompting. "What can you tell us about the organization known as CADMUS?" 

Kara sighed.

"I don’t know much more than you do, probably. They have stated a hatred for muggles, muggle-borns, and aliens. Basically anyone who isn’t a pure-blood, earth-born wizard." 

"But it’s run by Lillian Luthor." 

"So I’ve heard, yes.” 

Kara stole another look at Lena. She still hadn’t moved, but her eyes looked glassy and she was clenching her jaw.

"I’m just asking, I mean… That can’t be a coincidence." 

"Alex…" Kara warned, but her sister ignored her. 

"She’s Lex’s mom,” she continued. "Evil just runs in the family, I guess." 

 

* * *

 

Clark had been kind enough to agree to lunch with Kara and Alex after the lecture, but first he took some time in the classroom to speak to students individually. 

Kara watched Lena nervously while she waited. The older girl remained seated at her desk, apparently reading her text about doxies. 

Rao, what was Alex thinking? She knew her sister was having a rough week, but there was no need to publically drag Lena down with her.

A seemingly endless stream of students were approaching Clark with questions and thanks as he stood at the front of the room. She was pretty sure Winn was in line for the third time. Didn’t they know food was waiting for her?

As soon as there was a break, he confidently walked over to Lena and sat himself at the desk in front of her, turning and speaking to her quietly. 

"What do you think that’s about?" Alex asked behind her.

"Don’t talk to me," she snapped. She was furious with her sister.

"What’s wrong with you?"

"Are you serious? You were a complete jerk. And you made Clark super uncomfortable. I can’t talk to you right now."

"Whatever," Alex responded in an indifferent tone, walking away.

She watched the exchange in fascination. Mostly Clark just spoke to Lena and she nodded occasionally, but it seemed pleasant enough. He spoke to her for two or three minutes before putting a hand on her shoulder, smiling kindly, and getting up to speak to other students. 

She continued to observe Lena after he left, and she saw her wipe discreetly at her eyes before collecting her belongings and walking out of the room.

 

* * *

 

The next morning Kara woke up early to the usual grumbling in her stomach. She dressed quickly and wandered sleepily down the stairs. 

Winn and Maggie were already in the common room, and she sat down heavily on the couch next to them.

"Breakfast?" she asked. 

Winn laughed. "You’re not usually up this early."

"Mmm," she groaned, too tired to properly respond. 

“Okay. Come on, kid,” Maggie said, grabbing her by the sleeve and pulling her back up.

The three of them were halfway to the door when Alex came bursting out from the dorms. Her face was as red as Kara had ever seen it, but she didn’t say a word.

She ran over to them and grabbed Kara, gesturing to her closed mouth and making a pained noise.

"What’s wrong, Alex?" 

She gestured more forcefully at her mouth, shaking her head. 

"You can’t open your mouth?" Winn asked.

She pointed emphatically at him.

"What the hell?" Maggie questioned. "How did this happen?"

Alex shrugged exaggeratedly and whimpered, running her hands through her hair.

“Uuuhh…” Kara was at a loss. “Let’s think. What could do this? Are you sick?”

Alex wrinkled her eyebrows, shaking her head.

“Has it been like this since you woke up?” Maggie asked.

Alex nodded.

“Maybe something you ingested was tampered with. Did you eat or drink something before you went to bed that someone else could have messed with?”

Her sister shook her head and made a pained, exasperated noise.

"Yes, that’s much better." Lena had appeared in the doorway wearing a wicked smirk.

"Lena?" Kara questioned, confused. 

"You did this?" Maggie asked.

Lena walked forward, ignoring the two girls and focusing her attention on Alex.

"Let this be a lesson to you, Danvers. Learn to keep your mouth shut, or I’ll do it for you," she snarled.

Alex pulled out her wand and shoved the tip against Lena's throat, but the girl just laughed. 

"What are you going to do with that? _You_ certainly don’t know nonverbal magic." 

Alex carelessly threw her wand aside and punched Lena square in the nose. Lena made a growling noise as she lunged at Alex in return.

"Oh, shit," Kara heard Maggie somewhere behind her. She stood frozen, unsure of what to do, as Maggie rushed fowards and attempted to pry the fighting girls apart. 

She had never seen Alex behave this way. She had never seen Lena behave this way, either. She felt like she’d fallen into a parallel universe.

Seeing Maggie struggle to get between the two furious girls seemed to snap her into action. She grabbed Alex and yanked her back, and Maggie followed her lead by holding the weakly struggling Lena back.

"You’ve made your point, Lena," Maggie insisted.

Lena dabbed at her nose, checking for blood. "I don’t think it’s quite sunk in yet. She’s got a very thick skull, you know.”

Kara felt Alex attempt to lunge again, and maintained her grip.

"Just reverse it, Lena," Winn whimpered. "Please." 

Lena shifted her weight and crossed her arms. "I can't."

"What?" They all called out in unison — except for Alex, who made a panicked noise instead.

"Oh, don’t be a baby. It’s temporary. It’ll wear off." 

"How temporary?" Kara finally found her voice. 

Lena looked at her, and Kara saw hurt in her eyes.

"Within an hour or two, if memory serves." Her expression hardened as she turned to walk out, and her smirk returned. "Just enjoy the peace and quiet while it lasts." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took longer than I said it would! I was fortunate enough to go to the Supergirl screening last weekend and meet Katie, but it meant delaying the chapter. My apologies! I'll do my best to get the next one up ASAP.
> 
> Also, I'm sleepingontheway on tumblr as well.


	8. Baby Britain

Kara grabbed a second plate that morning and stacked bacon, sausage, eggs, and biscuits until the plate was overflowing. 

"Uh, Kara?" she heard Winn start. "I don’t think Alex usually eats that much." 

Kara stopped to look at the plate she was still preparing. 

Alex had decided to wait in her dorm for Lena’s charm to wear off while the others had gone to breakfast. It’s not like she could eat with her mouth closed. She decided she would bring Alex some food for when she was… feeling better. 

"Oh, I guess you’re right," she said, halting her preparations and picking up a piece of the sausage for herself.

She looked down to the other end of the table at Lena. Despite the spectacle she and Alex had made in the common room not even an hour ago, she was completely composed. She looked the same as she did every morning. Her hair wasn’t mussed, her clothes still looked pressed, and her demeanor was completely calm.

As if she could feel Kara staring at her, Lena turned her head and looked completely unsurprised when their eyes met. Her gaze wasn’t intimidating or aggressive, but confident and searching. Feeling awkward, Kara looked back down at her lap until the other girl’s eyes left her. 

"I can’t believe Lena actually cursed Alex," she said to Winn and Maggie. 

"I can," Maggie responded honestly. "I mean, don’t get me wrong. I like Alex.  _ a lot _ . But she was completely out of line yesterday. I would have cursed her, too."

Kara sighed. "I know. I just mean that Lena usually keeps to herself. She doesn’t usually lash out like that." 

Winn and Maggie both laughed.

"What’s funny?" she asked, feeling like she was missing a joke.

"You haven’t been around her that much, kid," Maggie said.

"What does that mean?"

"Look. I’ve had classes with her for five years. I’ve shared a dorm with her for five years. Does she keep to herself? Absolutely. Somehow, I don’t fucking know her at all. I don’t have a problem with Lena, but she’s no teddy bear, Kara. She isn’t passively silent. I certainly wouldn’t cross her. And Alex knows that; she shouldn’t have messed with her." 

"I once saw her cast a full body-bind curse on a guy for no reason," Winn added.

"I’m sure it wasn’t for no reason! That’s ridiculous!" Kara objected.

"I don’t know,” he said, his forkful of eggs suspended in midair. “It sure looked like it was for nothing. I was sitting with her in Arithmancy Club for half an hour and everything was totally fine, and then all of a sudden she just cursed him, he fell over, and she left totally calmly. Explain that." 

"Two years ago she snuck into the 7th years' dorm three nights in a row and cast different curses on Maeve Bulstrode," Maggie added. "She didn’t get in trouble because no one could prove it was her, but it was." 

"How do you know?" Kara asked skeptically.

"What did she curse her with?" Winn asked in excitement.

"Because Maeve bullied her endlessly before that week, and when Maeve made a public apology in the common room on the third night, the curses stopped," she directed at Kara before answering Winn. "A conjunctivitis curse, a hair-loss curse, and an ear shriveling curse," she grimaced.

Winn guffawed. 

She didn’t know what to think. Lena was a victim, and Kara wouldn’t be convinced otherwise. She clearly only lashed out when she felt threatened. It wasn’t her fault. 

When she looked back down to Lena’s end of the table, she found the older girl once again watching her. This time however, the look on her face was of complete annoyance. She promptly got up and walked out of the great hall. 

Kara had a moment of paranoid panic. Surely Lena hadn’t heard what they were talking about, had she? 

No, she was too far away. Kara was the only one around here with super hearing.

 

* * *

 

"Can a dementor die?" the Ravenclaw eagle knocker asked.

"If it lives, it can die," Winn answered. 

"That’s not a riddle!" Kara fussed as the door swung open.

She was growing increasingly frustrated with the Ravenclaw dormitory. Well the dormitory itself was just fine, but she couldn’t figure out for the life of her how to get inside on her own. Twice now she’d had to wait for someone else to come up the stairs and let her in. 

She was not a stupid girl! She didn’t understand why she found it so impossibly hard to answer any of the questions. They didn’t make any sense half the time. She didn’t understand how others just seemed to know the answers it was looking for. She wasn’t looking forward for the new term to start next month, but she was definitely looking forward to getting back to her own dormitory. 

"Play chess with me!" Winn insisted as they walked inside and found the common room empty. 

They had dinner alone that night, and spent the better part of the evening the same way. Maggie and Alex had disappeared during the afternoon, and they hadn’t seen them since. Presumably Alex wanted to go to Hogsmeade to avoid Lena for the day. Kara was sure it would take at least 24 hours for her to be in the same room with the Slytherin again. She had half expected to find them in the dorm, but they weren’t back yet.

"Go easy on me," she laughed. 

It was getting late, and she couldn’t pretend she wasn’t worried about Alex tonight. She figured playing a game might give her a good distraction. 

Against anyone else at chess, Kara was no slouch. Strategy games were very much in her wheelhouse. She could even give Alex a run for her money. Winn loved the game and dedicated a lot more time to it than she did though, which usually left her on the losing end. 

They were only a couple of moves in when Lena walked into the otherwise empty common room and took sight of them. She wordlessly went upstairs to the dormitories and returned a few minutes later in a sweatshirt and carrying a large textbook. She sat on the end of the couch nearest them and cracked it open in her lap. 

"I call winner," Lena said without looking at them. 

Kara’s breathe caught in her throat. 

"Kay," Winn responded, still studying the board, as though this was the most normal occurrence in the world. 

Kara did her best to focus on the board as well. Literally this morning her sister had punched this girl in the face. She had been so mad at Alex that she had cursed her mouth closed. Yet here she was, acting like nothing had happened. What kind of person could compartmentalize like that? 

In the corner of her eye, she saw Lena pull her hair out of its ponytail. She fleetingly wondered what Lena’s hair smelled like, and turned her head to look at her fully. Lena was smirking. 

She redoubled her focus on the board. Only few minutes later, it became clear that the match wasn’t going to end well for her. She didn’t know why, but she really wanted the chance to play Lena. She could see now that it wasn’t going to happen. 

"How did you do it?" she heard herself ask.

Lena looked up at her.

"How did I do what?" 

Kara looked closely for any sign of a bruise on her face, but she found none. How was that possible? In the moment, Kara was sure Alex had broken Lena's nose. It seemed unlikely that she would go to the Hospital Wing to have it tended to, as Madam Pomfrey would undoubtedly ask her what had happened.

"Alex, this morning. How’d you curse her?"

Lena blinked without responding, so Kara continued.

"Like, was it a spell? Did you poison her? How’d you do it?" 

She heard Winn clear his throat loudly, and she glanced at him briefly. He was shaking his head and attempting to be discreet about it. She ignored him.

Lena cocked her head slightly. "It was a spell…" she said curiously. 

"When did you cast it?"

Lena met her gaze directly, her green eyes sparkling slightly. Kara wasn’t going to let herself look away this time. She wouldn’t let Lena intimidate her.

"Last night. while she was sleeping. I snuck into her dorm." 

Kara was mildly surprised at her unapologetic honesty.

"Where did you learn it?" she asked confidently, thought she felt her bravado begin to falter.

This appeared to catch Lena off guard. She opened her mouth and closed it again, seeming to search for the words.

"My brother used it on me when we were children, to keep me from tattling,” she finally said, returning her attention to her book. 

"Oh."

She kind of regretted her line of questioning, but now that she had Lena actively engaged in a conversation (that wasn’t about how annoying Kara was), she didn’t want to let it go.

"And he taught you?" she pressed.

"Something like that." 

Before Kara could inquire about what that meant, the common room door flew open, and Alex and Maggie came stumbling inside.

Alex had her arm draped over Maggie’s shoulders, and Maggie was struggling to hold her up. 

"Come on. Let’s get you to the couch."

"I’m f-fine!" Alex insisted, laughing.

"What’s wrong now?" Winn asked, and Maggie cast him a glare.

Alex was clearly extremely drunk, and Kara jumped up to help Maggie get her to the couch. 

"You’re pathetic," Lena said plainly when Alex was plopped onto the cushions next to her. 

It was only then that Alex even seemed to realize Lena was there. Kara waited for her to react angrily, but instead she just laughed again. 

"You  _ are _ smart," Alex said. 

"Uh, okay. I’m going to take her upstairs..."  _ before this turns ugly,  _ she finished in her head. 

"Let me help you. It’s a strugg-" Maggie started to say, but Kara already had Alex in her  arms. 

"You do this a lot, I take it?" Lena asked, her voice dripping with disdain. 

Kara just sighed. "Not that you'll believe me, but no. Never." 

Lena’s expression softened slightly at her words, and she got up to take Kara’s place opposite Winn. 

Maggie helpfully opened the doors as Kara carried her sister upstairs. She pulled back the covers to Alex’s bed so that Kara could gently slip her in. They pulled off her shoes, pulled the covers back over her, and sat on her bed. 

Kara took in her sister’s appearance, and she didn’t love what she found. Alex looked exhausted and pale. The usual dark circles under her eyes, acquired from a perpetual lack of sleep, were as puffy as Kara had ever seen them. She had been crying.

"What happened tonight, Maggie?"

Maggie ran a hand through her hair. "Honestly? I don’t know. Earlier today she asked if I wanted to hang out with her tonight, and I said yes. It started out fine, but she was drinking so quickly. I couldn’t keep up with her. I don’t know if it was me, or-"

"It wasn’t," Kara interrupted. 

"What do you mean?" Maggie asked.

"It’s Jeremiah’s… her dad, it’s his birthday today. It’s always a rough time for her. I think it just bring him to the forefront of her mind, and it’s hard to shake it.”

"Oh," Maggie looked at Alex in sympathy. "I’ve never heard her talk about him, except to say that he passed away."

"Yeah, well. She’s a pretty private person. She took it really hard, though. They were super close, and it’s only been a couple of years, you know?"

"Sure, that’s fair. Is there anything I can do?” she asked awkwardly.

Kara laughed humorlessly. 

"I have no idea. I keep thinking it’ll get better, that it will get easier for her, but this is the worst I’ve ever seen her. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to fix it." 

"Well... this is the first summer she’s been here," Maggie said, brushing Alex’s hair away from her face. "Maybe it’s harder this way, being away from her mom." 

"That does make sense, I guess," she pondered before changing the subject. "Maggie, I was just wondering... If this is personal or whatever, you don’t have to-"

"It’s okay," she smiled. "Go ahead."

"Do you ever go home?"

Maggie laughed. "That’s not what I was expecting you to ask. But no, I don’t."

"Why not?"

"My parents and I don’t really get along. We all thought it would be better if I just stayed here while I’m in school." 

"Oh. I’m really sorry."

"Nah, that’s okay. It’s better this way." 

They sat in companionable silence for a few moments before Maggie’s hand stilled in Alex’s hair.

" _ Oh _ ," she said, her voice sounded defeated.

"What?"

"No, it’s nothing. It doesn’t matter."

The older girl stood up and shifted her weight awkwardly.

"No, stop," Kara put a hand on Maggie’s arm. "What’s wrong?"

Maggie sighed, sitting back down.

"I just realized, Alex’s friends aren’t here. She didn’t have any  _ resources _ for tonight. When she asked me to hang out, I thought she wanted to hang out with  _ me _ , but. I think, she was just angling for alcohol, wasn’t she? I was just like a dealer or something." 

Kara considered this for a moment before responding.

"I don’t think so, no," she answered honestly. "Alex is plenty resourceful. If she didn’t want to spend the night with you, she wouldn’t have. She asked you to go with her because she wanted your company. I’m sure of it." 

Kara gave Maggie the most reassuring smile she could muster, and Maggie nodded, giving her a slight smile in return.


	9. Don't Dance with the Devil

Harry Potter was clearly the most widely anticipated guest speaker for their summer class, and he was bringing with him one of the most highly anticipated spells: the patronus charm.

It had become known as his specialty, as he was able to produce it at such a young age. Professor Henshaw decided it would be a fun idea to let him teach the actual lesson rather than just giving a talk and taking questions.

Kara was hardly older than he was when he had produced it, so she didn’t have much hope. There was also the added pressure of having _Harry Potter_ watching you. Fortunately for them all, he was exceedingly patient and a very good teacher.

Kara was able to produce a wisp of _something_ halfway through the Monday lesson, which was more than most were able to do at that point. He insisted that if she kept practicing with Hank all week, she should be able to see a fully formed, corporeal patronus by Friday.

She was ecstatic.

Alex and Lena, unquestionably the two best students in the class, were both shouting their spell to no results all morning.

Alex had kept her cool, closing her eyes after each failed attempt and trying to gather and calm herself for the next go, but Lena was becoming increasingly frustrated.

"This is ridiculous!" she shouted.

"Well that’s what you’re doing wrong," Mike joked. "That’s for boggarts."

Lena gave him a glare, and he stopped talking.

Everyone stayed in class three hours that morning, trying their best to soak up as much time as possible with The Chosen One and get their patronus charm down.

By the end of the lesson, Lena was the only student left who couldn’t produce anything at all. When a shapeless cloud of mist finally shot out of Alex’s wand, Kara thought Lena was going to explode.

"Can I ask what happy memory you’re using?" Harry asked her.

They were off to the side of the room, and Kara knew she shouldn’t be invading Lena’s privacy with her super-hearing, but she couldn’t help herself.

"I’ve used a dozen different memories!" she said, throwing her hands in the air. "Nothing’s working! I don’t know what to do!"

"You know, it actually took me several lessons to see any results from the spell,” Harry said kindly. 

Lena scoffed and shook her head, and Harry smiled.

"Honestly! I’m not patronizing you. It wasn’t as easy for me as people make it seem. It was hard for me to find a memory that worked. It might take some soul searching, that’s all. Give it time, Lena. You’ll get it. I can tell you’re a gifted witch."

 

* * *

 

The first time it happened was two weeks before the start of term.

Kara and Winn had just started making their way back to the castle after having a butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks. From somewhere ahead of them they heard people yelling, followed by a number of bangs.

They rushed ahead to see what the commotion was all about, the bursts of light getting brighter as they approached. They found a tall, gangly man hurling spells at Lena down the road. She was deftly deflecting and dodging them, but another shorter man was approaching from the side.

Kara felt her heart trying to pound its way out of her chest. She had to do something.

“Hey!” she yelled, unsure of what else to do. The shorter man looked at her and laughed.

“ _Expelliarmus_!” Lena shouted as he turned back toward her, and his wand went flying.

It came to a stop near where she was standing, and Winn grabbed it. The man immediately came barreling towards them, and Winn took off running in the opposite direction.

“Uuuuuuhhh…” Kara panicked, apprehensively pointing her wand at the man’s back as he chased her friend. “ _Locomotor Mortis_!”

When the spell connected with the man, he went stiff momentarily as his legs bound themselves together, laying him out flat on his stomach.

She had a huge knot in her throat as momentary relief washed over her. She had never actually dueled before. She had never actually cursed someone before. Not in the real world. Not outside of practice.

Her internal rejoice was short lived however, as she heard the taller wizard call out “ _Crucio_!” behind her.

Her blood went cold as she turned back around to face him, but fortunately Lena had used a shield charm to block herself.

Kara ran forward to help, though entirely without a plan. It wasn’t like she could use her abilities right here in front of people, could she? Everyone would know. Alex would kill her.

Lena shouted a spell that Kara didn’t recognize and made a slashing movement with her wand, almost as though she was swinging an invisible sword. A terrifying streak of purple flames followed her wand’s path and connected with the wizard. The man crumpled to his knees, clearly in an immense amount of pain.

“ _Confringo_!” he shouted.

Lena attempted to dodge the binding spell, but the ropes caught her. As they snaked their way around her body, the wizard stumbled toward his shorter companion. The end of a rope caught Lena’s cheek, cutting her across the face.

Kara’s instinctive reaction was to physically rip the ropes off of the other girl, but she thought better of it. “ _Relashio_!” She called, and the ropes released their grip.

Lena immediately began sending hexes at the man now approaching his friend, but he managed to shield himself long enough to place a hand on the other wizard and apparate away with a _pop_.

She immediately turned to face Lena and make sure she was okay. The cut across her cheek was bleeding and she had a split lip, but she didn’t look startled or frightened. She just looked exhausted.

Kara moved to put an arm around Lena’s middle to guide her to a bench nearby on the road, but as soon as her fingers made contact with Lena’s ribs, the girl gasped in pain.

“Sorry…” Kara muttered, offering Lena her arm to hold onto instead.

“It’s fine,” Lena said through clenched teeth.

Rather than accepting Kara’s help, she made her way to the bench unassisted. She could hear the girl’s heart pounding as she tried to catch her breath. She prodded at her ribcage with her eyes closed, and Kara wondered wordlessly if she was searching for breaks.

Winn came jogging back over just as they sat down. “Merlin!” he shouted. “Are you alright, Lena?”

She nodded, her eyes still closed.

“Who were those guys?” Kara asked. She tried to keep her voice calm, but she was still shaking from the adrenaline.

“I don’t know, but they undoubtedly work for my mother,” she spat angrily.

Kara looked at Winn, who shrugged.

“I don’t understand,” she said. “Why would your mother send them?”

Lena’s tired eyes met Kara’s, and she had that strange feeling of being on display again.

“It was only a matter of time. It’s not a coincidence that Dumbledore made me stay here all summer.” She groaned loudly before continuing, “Oh, bloody hell! He’s never going to let me leave the castle now.”

“I really don’t think that’s your biggest concern right now,” she laughed sadly. “Come on. Let’s get you to the Hospital Wing.”

“I don’t need to go to the Hospital Wing,” Lena answered quickly.

“Sorry, but I really think you do,” she looked at Winn for help.

“It’s probably not a bad idea,” he added.

“Listen. I appreciate your help, both of you, but I’m going to be just fine. Let’s just go back to the castle, and we’ll figure it out when we get there.” She noticed the wand Winn was still holding as she got to her feet. “Is that his?”

“Oh. Yeah.”

She grabbed it from him and turned it over in her hands, examining it, as they started walking back down the road. She snapped it in half suddenly, and calmly shoved the broken pieces into her pocket. 

 

* * *

 

“And then he was like ‘bang!’ and she was like ‘boom!’” Winn said, replaying what had happened for Alex and Maggie.

“I don’t think I know those spells,” Alex laughed.

“It was awesome,” he gushed. “I mean, it was terrible! Obviously. But also it was awesome.”

Lena had presumably been with Dumbledore or some of their professors all evening. When they got back to the castle, Lena insisted on having some time to “pull herself together” before talking to anyone, but she allowed them to go to the Headmaster’s office ahead of her to inform him of what had happened. He had sent them directly back to Ravenclaw Tower, and they hadn’t seen her since.

“Well, I’m just glad everyone is okay,” Alex said.

“Everyone?” Kara asked pointedly, and Alex rolled her eyes.

“Yes, _everyone_ ,” she said, throwing a pillow at her sister. “I don’t trust her, but I don’t want her to get jumped in the street, Kara. She’s sixteen. Who do you think I am?”

Kara smiled and threw the pillow back, hitting Alex way harder than she intended to.

“Christ!” Maggie said, laughing at Alex’s annoyed expression.

“She said her mom sent them,” Kara reiterated after the laughter had died down. “Why do you think she would do that?”

“I mean, I figured she stayed here this summer to keep her away from Lillian,” Maggie said. “Lena is practically of age. Now that everything is out in the open, Lillian probably wants to take Lena into hiding with her.”

“It’s probably about time she got involved the family business,” Alex added, more sadly than judgmentally.

“Well, Lena really didn’t want to go with them. So there’s that,” Winn said.  
  
“Like really, really not. She fought until she was bloody. She did this one spell I’ve never even heard of. I guess it’s something they only teach after 4th or 5th year.”

“What did it look like?” Maggie asked curiously.

“She shot this streak of purple fire at the other guy. It looked like it went right through him, but it really knocked him out. That was what really ended it.”

Maggie and Alex gave each other a knowing look.

“What is it?” Winn asked.

“That’s not… they don’t teach that here,” Alex said, slight trepidation in her voice.

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“It’s dark magic,” Maggie finished. “Really dark magic.”

 

* * *

 

“What is a corporeal patronus made of?” the eagle knocker asked.

“Uh, okay… That shouldn’t be hard.”

Kara turned away from the door as she thought out loud, so the door wouldn’t mistakenly take something she said as an answer before she was ready. She learned that lesson week one.

“I mean, it looks like a mist or a fog. Or light. But that’s surely not what it wants…”

Kara had snuck out to the kitchens after everyone else had gone to bed. Only Maggie had seen her creeping out.

“I’d think carefully about that,” she had warned. “I’m not waiting up for you. If you can’t get back in, you’re just gonna have to sleep out there.”

Kara had brushed her off at the time. “It’ll be no problem!”

There were way fewer teachers patrolling the corridors during the summer holiday, and absolutely no prefects. Once term started, it wouldn’t be so easy for her to sneak a late night snack.

She took a bite of the pumpkin pasty in her hand and tried to decide if she regretted her decision.

She did not.

“Focus, Kara,” she said aloud. “You only get one shot at this.”

The answer had to be magic, right? You could say that it was made out of any number of elements, but when it really came down to it, it was made out of magic.

So, that’s what she said to the door that didn’t budge.

“You know, I could easily break this door down!” she said to the knocker. 

She exhaled loudly as she accepted her fate, looking at the floor around her for a spot to sleep.

Kara made it almost the entire summer - three whole months - without getting locked out of Ravenclaw Tower for more than a few minutes, so it was only fitting that it would happen on their final weekend.

She took off her sweater to make a pillow, and curled up against a wall to sleep.

 

* * *

 

“Danvers.”

She took a deep breath and felt the cold night air in her lungs.

Her bed was so hard.

Why was she shaking?

“Danvers!”

Kara jumped as she woke up fully.

The sharp, clear eyes of Lena Luthor were about a foot from her own. The girl was crouched down in front of her, one hand on Kara’s arm.

“You do know this is a corridor and not your bed?” she whispered, a hint of a smile softening her judgmental tone.

Kara laughed in embarrassment. “Right, yes. I’m... aware of that,” she stumbled over her words, still slightly disoriented. She rubbed at her eyes as she turned to sit up.

“Why exactly are you out here?” she pressed, offering Kara her hand to help her stand.

She quickly took the outstretched hand, and noted how soft it was. It felt impossibly cold in her warm grip.

Kara was sure her cheeks were quickly turning pink. How do you tell the school’s resident genius that you couldn’t answer a simple question correctly?

Lena bent back down to grab Kara’s sweater, handing it over as she waited for the younger girl to respond.

“Narcolepsy?” she tried half-heartedly. Lena frowned at her. “I got the question wrong,” she said sadly.

“Ah,” Lena replied simply, reaching up to knock on the door.

“What is a corporeal patronus made of?” the eagle knocker asked.

Lena blanched immediately, and Kara saw her swallow hard before responding. “Happiness,” she said, stealing a glance at Kara.

Kara immediately understood Lena’s discomfort. She rolled her sweater around in her hands awkwardly as they walked back inside.

She thought back to their lesson on patronuses, when Lena was the only one unable to produce anything. She hadn’t even seen the girl attempt the spell since. Was it so hard for her because she was unhappy?

As if Lena could sense her uneasiness, she turned to her abruptly and smirked. “Well, now we’re even,” she drawled.

Kara was pretty sure it was a joke, but it was hard to tell. She laughed anyway.

"How are you, after all that?" she gestured vaguely toward Lena's body.

"I'm fine," Lena said. Kara raised her eyebrows. "I am! I was tired, but there was only minor damage. She should have sent some competent wizards. I'm fine now." 

Lena shifted a large book from one hand to the other as she opened the door to the dormitory stairs, holding it open for Kara. Lena always had these large books with her, but they were all different. Kara was never close enough to see what they really were. She tried to read the title as she passed.

 _Organometallic Reactions and Structures_ , she read, pausing in the doorway. _Why on earth…._

“Light summer reading?” Kara joked, pointing at the textbook.

Lena looked down at it, and back up at Kara again.

“Something like that,” she evaded.

Kara huffed. “You always do that!” she half-shouted in mild frustration.

Lena shushed her, looking up the stairs. She grabbed Kara by the arm and pulled her back from the doorway into the common room.

“It’s like 2 in the morning. People are sleeping. What’s the matter, now?”

“You always brush me off with some vague answer when I try to make conversation! I wasn’t asking to read your diary, Lena. I was just asking about your book.”

Lena sighed, and Kara couldn’t tell if she was exasperated again, or just tired.

“I’m studying.”

“Studying what exactly?”

Lena raised the textbook so Kara could read it.

“Right, but what is that?”

“Chemistry.”

“But... it’s summer,” Kara furrowed her brow. “And that’s definitely a muggle textbook.”

“Is it a crime to broaden my horizons?”

“No, of course not. It’s just that…” she shuffled her feet awkwardly.

She didn’t know exactly how to voice her confusion without sounding like a jerk. _You’re pure-blood. You’re a Slytherin. Even if you’re not evil, you’re from a family known to hate muggles._

“You’re a pure-blood, too,” Lena accusingly interrupted her thoughts.

“How do you know that?” Kara asked.

“I’m the same year as your sister,” she said as though it was obvious.

“Oh!” she laughed. “I’m adopted. I mean yeah, I’m still pure-blood. But not because Alex is.”

“You’re adopted?” Lena repeated, confusion written on her face.

“Yep.”

Lena silently considered her for a moment.

“I’m not a pure-blood,” she confessed, her words lacking their usual sharpness.

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m a half-blood. The Luthors took me in when I was four, when my mother died. She was a muggle.”

Rather than looking away, Lena held Kara’s gaze, apparently watching her reaction. Kara was extremely surprised, but she tried to look unfazed about it.

 _Cool_ , she forced herself to think. _No big deal._ Her heart was pounding. Lena was opening up to her.

“And your father?” she asked.

“My father was Lionel Luthor,” she said sadly.

She turned back to the door leading upstairs, and Kara followed on her heels.

 _Noooooo_. Kara wasn’t ready for this to end. After this weekend she would be going back to the Gryffindor common room, and Lena would be going back to the dungeons. This might be her last chance to finally get to know the mysterious Lena Luthor.

“You haven’t explained the studying!” she protested.

“What exactly do you want to know?” she held the door open.

“Why are you studying chemistry? You don’t need to know it. Like for anything.”

Seeing that Kara was stopped again, Lena rolled her eyes, placed a hand on Kara’s lower back, and guided her through the doorway.

“Because, Danvers, my actions are not dictated by others’ expectations,” she explained as they ascended the stairs.

Kara tried listen to the words Lena was saying and ignore the hand still on her back, but she was finding it very difficult. She was pretty sure Lena had touched her more in the last 3 minutes than she had in 3 years, which wasn’t saying much. She swallowed hard and hoped Lena didn't notice the goosebumps on her arm.

“Knowledge is power - even muggle knowledge," she continued. "Wizards are overly reliant on their magic, if you ask me. A true captain of industry should be well-rounded.”

“So, it’s ambition,” she clarified.

“Yes,” Lena said proudly.

When they opened the door, Toby greeted them with a loud _meow_. He was easily the noisiest cat she had ever met.

“Ssshhh.” Lena quickly scooped him up and held him close to her chest.

“Don’t worry,” Kara whispered to him. “She shushed me too.”

In the corner of her eye, she could see Lena watching her as she reached over and scratched his head. Then, to her complete elation, Lena smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry some of these updates are super far apart and others are rapid fire! I'm just word vomiting when I have time and posting the chapters whenever I happen to finish. I'm not organized enough to schedule them out. :/
> 
> Anyway, Kara's not 5 years old anymore so it's going to start picking up!


	10. I'll Learn to Touch You

The first Friday evening of the new term, Alex returned to the common room and fell onto the sofa with a loud huff.   
  
“I have to be a potions tutor again,” she grumbled.   
  
“Really?” Kara asked excitedly. “I have to be tutored in potions! Maybe they’ll pair us up!”   
  
“No, they won’t,” Alex answered sadly. “They always mix people up with students they don’t know well on purpose. I had to tutor Monica Flint last year, remember? Merlin, she was the absolute worst.”  
  
“We’re all pretty bad at potions. That’s why we need tutoring.”  
  
“No, she wasn’t that bad at potions. She’s just an awful human being.”   
  
“Well, you never know,” Kara laughed. “Maybe you’ll get someone super sweet this year. Think positive!”  
  
“I can’t!” she said, burying her face in the cushions. “I don’t have time for this. I’m finally captain of the quidditch team. I’ve waited years for this! It needs to be my focus. I have to beat Maggie! Do you have any idea how much she’ll rub it in if we lose? I’ll never hear the end of it!”  
  
Winn laughed at her dramatics. “I hardly think a few hours of potions tutoring is going to disrupt your quidditch schedule that much.”   
  
“Well, it is two nights a week,” Kara said, also feeling put-out.   
  
“Oh no,” he said in mock sympathy. “Not two whole nights!”  
  
“Minimum!” she defended. “Maybe we can just ask if we can be partnered up, Alex. Then we can just say we’re doing the tutoring and not actually do it!”  
  
“Kara, if Snape says you could benefit from tutoring…” Alex started.  
  
“I know, I know. You don’t always have to be such a big sister.”   
  
“It’s my job,” she stated plainly. “And anyway, they won’t go for it, Kara. I’m telling you, it’s like part of the point to them. They want to ‘open our minds to new perspectives’ and ‘broaden our exposure to different social groups.’ At least that’s what McGonagall said when I complained last year.”   
  
“Well as long as it’s someone patient, I’m fine with the social aspect. I’m just not fine with the extra potions work,” Kara grumbled. “When do we find out who it’s gonna be?”   
  
“We find out when we show up at the first lesson,” Alex sighed. “Sure to be a joyous day for all.” 

 

* * *

  
  
Kara made her way to the dungeons after her last class ended on Tuesday. The butterflies she usually carried in her stomach as she walked to the potions classroom were even more active today.  
  
Kara was mediocre at potions on her best day, and she wasn’t exactly thrilled to share that weakness with a new acquaintance. What a terrible first impression that would be. Hello, nice to meet you. Watch me be terrible at this when you’d certainly rather be spending your evening doing something else.   
  
The damp air felt ominously cool against her perpetually warm skin as she reached the end of the now familiar corridor. The large door creaked loudly as she pushed it open, but the sole occupant didn’t lift her head from her reading.   
  
“Oh,” Kara let out softly in surprise, registering the familiar presence in front of her.   
  
Lena, seated with her back to the door, turned to face Kara upon hearing her voice.   
  
“Oh,” she mimicked.   
  
Kara’s chest felt inexplicably tight.   
  
“It’s you,” Kara said, and Lena raised her eyebrows in response. “I-I mean, it’s you. Like a good _it’s you_ , not a bad _it’s you_. Just, I wasn’t expecting to see you. I mean I wasn’t expecting anyone in particular. They didn’t tell me who would be here, but I didn’t-”  
  
“Sit,” Lena interrupted, pulling out the stool next to her.   
  
“Right, sorry.”   
  
Kara swallowed hard and sat down, placing her potions textbook on the table. She adjusted her glasses and glanced around the room awkwardly as though it was brand new to her, waiting for further instructions.   
  
Lena picked up the textbook and flipped through it, silently selecting a page and placing it back down in front of Kara.   
  
“A simple sleeping draught?” Kara asked, perplexed.   
  
“Indeed.”   
  
Kara waited for an explanation, but none came. “Right, okay.”   
  
She grabbed the book from the table and wandered over the shelves to gather her supplies and ingredients. She was fairly confident she could manage a sleeping draught, so she wasn’t going to push Lena into suggesting something more difficult by questioning the choice.   
  
She counted out her ingredients to make sure she had the same number listed in her text, and returned to the table. She expected Lena to be reading again, but her book was closed. She was leaning against the table, with one arm propped up under her chin.   
  
She was apparently watching her work, which she found very unsettling. She was fairly certain she had never been the point of Lena’s focus for more than 30 seconds ever.   
  
She dropped her handful of ingredients onto the table first, and then set down the large cauldron and knife.  
  
“Why pewter?” Lena asked.  
  
“What?” Kara asked. “I… I don’t know. Is it wrong?”  
  
“No, it’s not wrong. I was just wondering why you chose that one above the others.”   
  
Kara looked back over her shoulder at the classroom supplied cauldrons, noting the variety. She had known there were different types of cauldrons of course, but she never paid much attention to it.   
  
“Well… It was just the closest.”   
  
She scratched her head self-consciously.   
  
Lena’s lip twitched with something like amusement.   
  
“I see.”  
  
Kara sat back down and pulled the book close, beginning to read the directions.   
  
Add 4 sprigs of Lavender to the mortar.   
  
“Oh, yeah,” Kara laughed at her forgetfulness.   
  
She looked hesitantly at Lena, who gave her a knowing half-smile, before returning to the cupboard to find a mortar and pestle.   
  
_Rao, this was going to be a long year._  
  
“You aren’t going to help me, are you?” she asked as she sat back down.  
  
“Not today, no.”  
  
In the corner of her eye, she could see Lena watching her hands as she placed the Lavender into the mortar and began crushing it.   
  
Should quickly looked at her own hands for any apparent flaws.

_Should I have used lotion before the lesson? I’ll use lotion next time. And maybe trim my nails. Oh no, are my nails clean? I had herbology not an hour ago._  
  
She did her best to hurry through the ingredient preparation, and wailed internally at how completely silent it was. She had never been in the dungeons without a classroom full of students before, and it was both eerie and awkward.  
  
“So have you tutored potions before?” Her voice sounded higher than usual.  
  
“No, I haven’t,” Lena answered after a pause.   
  
“Really?” Kara was surprised. She was sure Lena had been tutoring since she was a second year. “Aren’t you one of the best in the school?”  
  
Lena laughed softly.   
  
“Who told you that, your sister? I’m _the_ best in the school.”   
  
Kara smiled at her confidence.   
  
She turned the lever on her burner, and pointed her wand underneath the cauldron to light the flame.   
  
“ _Incendio_ ,” she muttered, and Lena flinched.  
  
She peered impatiently into the cauldron, waiting for the contents to heat. Potions took forever.   
  
“Are you going to tell me why I’m making a sleeping draught?” Kara asked.  
  
Lena looked at Kara fully now, her head still resting against her hand.   
  
“I know it’s basic, but I’ve never seen you brew. I want to see your technique, and to get an idea of where you are and where you need improvement.”   
  
“My… technique,” Kara repeated lamely.   
  
“Yes. Why are you making that face?” Lena asked, her brow furrowed.  
  
“Because my ‘technique’ is to try and follow the directions as best I can. That’s literally it.”   
  
Lena blinked at her for several seconds before giving a loud sigh.  
  
Kara finished brewing her potion in silence. 

 

* * *

  
  
Lena swished the finished potion around in the bottle while Kara cleaned up the tools and returned them to their storage spots.   
  
She was holding it up to the light and staring into it when Kara sat back down.  
  
“Well?” Kara asked, bracing herself for bad news.  
  
“It’s not great,” Lena said bluntly, meeting her eyes.  
  
“Oh.”   
  
Kara wished she could curl up into herself and disappear. It was such a simple potion. She was hopeless, and Lena was here to witness it all.   
  
“You aren’t hopeless,” Lena said, getting to her feet and pushing her stool in.   
  
“It’s like you’re reading my mind,” Kara laughed.   
  
Lena stilled momentarily before looking back up at her.   
  
“One needn’t be able to read minds to know what you’re thinking, sometimes.”   
  
“So I’ve been told.”  
  
“Look, the potion will work. It’s acceptable, but it should be improved upon. You’re going to make it again on Thursday, but I’m going to show to how to do a better job.”   
  
Kara winced slightly, and Lena sighed.  
  
“I don’t coddle, okay? It doesn’t do anyone any good. It certainly won’t make you any better at potions, and you’re here because you need work. And I’m here to teach you, not to be your friend. Understand?”  
  
“Whatever you say, boss,” Kara said with mock enthusiasm.   
  
Lena rolled her eyes.

“I’ll see you Thursday.” 

 

* * *

  
  
“Ahem!” Winn cleared his throat loudly as he sat down for dinner Wednesday night.   
  
“You’re looking particularly pleased with yourself,” Alex said.  
  
“You don’t say!” He picked his napkin up and shook it open with embellishment, placing it in his lap. “Perhaps I got some good news today,” he teased.   
  
He wore a smug grin as he began plating his dinner.   
  
“Come on, Winn! What is it?” Kara asked excitedly.  
  
She couldn’t stand it when people did this. She had to know.   
  
“Let’s just say Lucy isn’t the only one joining the inter-house quidditch league this season,” he looked pointedly at her.  
  
“What?” Lucy asked, confusion written on her face.   
  
Lucy was a Gryffindor in Alex’s year. They had always been friendly, but since Alex picked her to replace James on the team, she had been hanging around a lot more often.   
  
It seems she was taking her new role as beater very seriously. She constantly wanted to talk strategy with Alex. Her sister was eating it up, but Kara found the conversations painfully boring.   
  
“What are you talking about, Winn?” Alex laughed. “I picked the team last week. You didn’t even try out.”   
  
“I’m no jock!” he feigned insult. “I have been selected for a more dignified role.”   
  
Kara looked between Alex and Lucy, who both looked as confused as she felt, before realization finally dawned on Lucy’s face.  
  
“You’re the new commentator!” she said.  
  
“At your service!” he replied proudly.  
  
“Congratulations, man!” Alex said fondly.   
  
She threw an arm over his shoulder and pulled him in for a side hug before mussing his hair and pushing him away again.   
  
“Winn, that’s so great!” Kara added.   
  
“Welcome to the league! Say nice things about me, yes?” Lucy joked.   
  
“What’s going on over here?” Maggie interrupted curiously. “What’s the celebrating all about?”   
  
“I’m the new quidditch commentator!” he shared giddily.   
  
“Oh no, a Gryffindor!” she whined with a smile. “You’re gonna tear us apart just for a sake of it, aren’t you?”   
  
“I guess you’ll just have to stay on my good side, won’t you?”   
  
“I guess I will,” she said, squeezing into the small space between Alex and Winn.   
  
“Sawyer!” Alex protested. “You can’t sit here right now!”  
  
“What? Why not?”   
  
“Because you’re the enemy!”   
  
“I am not the enemy!”  
  
“You can sit with us after we play each other. Until then you might overhear our plans. Scoot!”  
  
“You aren’t serious! That’s not until November!” she complained as Alex tried to shove her off the bench.  
  
“Well maybe you can hang around sometimes, but not right now. We’re strategizing.”   
  
“Strategize in the Gryffindor common room! This is community space.”   
  
“This is literally the Gryffindor table,” Lucy laughed.   
  
“I’m sorry, who are you?” Maggie joked.   
  
She knew perfectly well who Lucy was, but she wasn’t used to seeing her hanging around.   
  
“Hey, who did you pick as beater?” Lucy asked, ignoring her jab.   
  
“Well, it certainly wasn’t Mike,” Alex interjected. “I’m tutoring him in potions, and the git spent the entire time complaining about it on Monday.”   
  
“God, he’s being such a crybaby about this, claiming it was favoritism.”  
  
“Who’d you pick then?” Lucy asked again.   
  
“Monica Flint.”  
  
“Ooohhh,” Winn said with a teasing look on his face.  
  
“I would be mad if I was Mike, too,” Lucy laughed.  
  
Kara felt like she was missing a joke.  
  
“She was seriously the best one who tried out. I swear.” Maggie’s cheeks were tinged a faint pink.   
  
“I tutored her last year. Were all of your options just horrible?” Alex asked, stabbing at her dinner with her fork.   
  
Maggie chuckled, “She’s not so bad. Not too crazy about you, is all. I can’t believe you have to tutor Mike, though. I’m so sorry.”  
  
“Thanks. I can tell this is going to end up lasting the whole year. He doesn’t listen at all.”   
  
“What do you mean?” Kara asked.  
  
“I mean I gave him instructions and he just did what he wanted to do anyway. I might as well not have even been there.”  
  
“No no, about it lasting the whole year. Doesn’t it always last the whole year?”  
  
“It only lasts as long as it takes for the student to get up to speed,” Winn explained. “If you bring your potions work up to whatever Snape considers acceptable, he can sign off on ending the tutoring early. If you don’t catch up to where he wants you, it lasts all year.”   
  
“So for me it will last all year,” Kara laughed, and Alex gave her a sympathetic smile.  
  
“Who did you end up getting?” Maggie asked.  
  
“Lena,” Kara said.   
  
She looked at her plate when she said it, feeling uncomfortable about meeting anyone’s eyes. She didn’t know why.   
  
“Wow, I’m sorry,” Lucy said. “I didn’t think they let her do tutoring.”   
  
“Why not?” Alex asked.  
  
“She did mention she’s never tutored anyone before,” Kara added.  
  
“She isn’t exactly easy to get along with,” Lucy said. “I figure they don’t trust her to be alone with any other students.”   
  
“I don’t think that’s it exactly,” Maggie said. “I figure it’s always been for her sake, not for the students’. And I’m sure Kara has no problem being her pupil, do you, Kara?”   
  
Maggie was smirking now. _What was that supposed to mean?_  
  
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Alex asked for her.  
  
“Nothing!” Maggie said quickly, turning to Kara. “You’ve just always been fascinated by our mysterious Miss Luthor, haven’t you?”   
  
“Uhm,” she swallowed hard. “I mean, yeah, I guess so. People always have things to say about her, but it’s hard to know what she’s actually like. Is that bad?”   
  
“No, Kara. It’s not bad at all,” Winn defended.   
  
“You’re just nicer than most people,” Alex added. “Any people. Ever. You’re the nicest person I’ve ever met, is what I’m saying.”   
  
“Okay…” Kara replied, prompting Alex to explain what she was getting at.  
  
“It’s just, you’re also really trusting,” she added hesitantly. “I don’t ever want you to change that about yourself, obviously. But always be careful, okay? That’s all. Just be careful.”  
  
Kara appreciated that Alex had been trying to be nicer about Lena lately. She was pretty sure her sister felt guilty about being so hard on the girl over the summer. She knew Alex still didn’t trust her, but she kept it mostly to herself.  
  
“I’m not stupid, Alex.”  
  
“I know you aren’t, but I’m your big sister. It’s my job to tell you what to do,” she teased.

 

* * *

 

The following night Kara made her way down to the potions classroom with even more trepidation than she’d had before the first session. She wanted desperately to not embarrass herself in front of the castle’s resident genius, but she held little hope.   
  
When she pushed the door open, Lena was once again already inside.   
  
“Do you come early?” Kara asked impulsively. “Also, hello,” she laughed awkwardly at her afterthought.   
  
Sometimes words came out of her mouth before she had a chance to really think about them. She wished she had better control of that.  
  
Lena gave her a curious look that she couldn’t interpret.   
  
“Potions is my last class. I just stay here.”   
  
“Oh.”   
  
Kara felt herself nodding exaggeratedly into the silence, and forced herself to stop.   
  
“You’re going to use a brass cauldron today,” Lena said.  
  
She got up from her seat and handed Kara a piece of parchment. It had the recipe for the sleeping draught handwritten, with notes in the margins.   
  
“Did you write this?” Kara asked.  
  
“Yes. You may copy it down while your potion brews, if you’d like.”   
  
She wasn’t sure why hand-writing the recipe would make it better than the version in her text, but she said “thanks” anyway.   
  
Lena walked over to the cauldrons and waited expectantly for Kara to follow, which she obediently did.  
  
“Many people always go for copper cauldrons because they’re the fastest, but speed isn’t always best. I’ve found that for a common sleeping draught, brass produces the best results,” Lena explained. “Sometimes you can work out which cauldron will be best for your potion based on elements of the brewing method, but other times it just takes trial and error.”   
  
“Right, okay,” Kara said, picking up a brass cauldron and carrying it over to the table.  
  
“Next, gather your ingredients.”   
  
Kara cleared her throat and looked back down at Lena’s writing.   
  
She went for the Lavender first, grabbing the jar down from the shelf and counting out four sprigs in her hand.  
  
“No, stop,” Lena said.  
  
“It’s grabbing dried flowers out of a jar,” Kara said. “What could I have possibly done wrong?”   
  
“You didn’t do anything _wrong_ ,” Lena said.  
  
She grabbed the sprigs from Kara and laid them out on the closest table. She then reached inside the jar pulled out several more, spreading them all out next to the original four.  
  
“They’re all different sizes, see?” she asked. “You don’t want to grab four huge ones or four tiny ones. You want to make sure whatever your choosing kind of averages out to the moderate size. Same with the valerian.”   
  
She went back to the shelf and grabbed the valerian jar down, placing it on the table next to the lavender and spreading more sprigs out.  
  
“You see? If you just grab blindly you might end up with four large lavender sprigs and four small valerian sprigs, and then where are you?” she looked at Kara, who gaped back at her silently.  
  
She sighed.   
  
“Your recipe will be wildly disproportionate. It won’t come out how the writer intended it to. Do you understand?”  
  
“Yeah, I get it. It’s just, I thought the brewing was the part I needed work on.”  
  
“Proper preparation of materials is an often overlooked part of the brewing process, but it’s of vital importance.”   
  
Kara rubbed at her forehead. She had been kind of excited to work with Lena, but now she was having second thoughts.   
  
She reached for a small bottle of flobberworm mucus, and felt Lena place a hand on her arm, pulling it back down.  
  
“No?” Kara asked, confused.   
  
“I’m afraid not. Fresh is always better.”   
  
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Kara said. “You’re going to make me juice my own flobberworm?”  
  
Lena pointed to where they were kept, and waited for Kara to comply with her unspoken command.   
  
There was no way that Lena regularly juiced her own flobberworms for potions. She was way too classy.   
  
This was clearly just an exercise in torturing Kara. Maybe she was trying to establish dominance, or maybe she simply hated her. Whatever the reason was, she didn’t care for it. 

 

* * *

  
  
Once all of the ingredients were finally gathered, they sat back down at the table.   
  
Kara grabbed her lavender and placed it in the mortar.   
  
“No,” Lena snapped. “You skipped two steps. Are you even reading the directions?”   
  
Kara ground her teeth. She knew that was the first step in her book, but she looked at Lena’s crazy anal person directions to see what she missed.  
  
“Right, so I’m supposed to chop it first then?” Kara asked.   
  
She pulled the lavender back out of the mortar and grabbed a knife.  
  
“Stop,” Lena said, stilling Kara’s knife wielding hand with her own.   
  
“It says chop, Lena! ‘Step one, chop four sprigs of lavender,’” she read aloud, picking up the parchment and holding it up to the older girl’s face.   
  
“Yes, thank you. I wrote it; I know what it says.” She pushed the parchment away. “You remember I told you fresh is better, yes? This is dried.”   
  
“I’m not going to pick lavender. If you send me out to pick lavender, I’m not coming back,” she warned.   
  
Lena smirked at her cheekiness.   
  
“I’m not sending you anywhere.”  
  
She waved her wand wordlessly at the lavender, and it immediately became vibrant once again.   
  
Kara picked it up, and it felt like it was freshly cut.  
  
“How did you do that?” she exclaimed.  
  
“Look it up; I don’t have time to teach you that. I’m just trying to make a point. When you’re in class, you’ll have to settle for dried.”   
  
“So you’re just trying to impress me then, not teach me skills I can actually use,” Kara joked.   
  
Lena raised an eyebrow.   
  
“And why on earth would I care to impress you, Danvers?”   
  
Kara tried to swallow before speaking, but her throat malfunctioned under Lena’s direct gaze, and she coughed instead.  
  
“It’s Kara,” she corrected.  
  
Lena rolled her eyes.   
  
“Just chop the lavender.” 

 

* * *

  
  
Kara looked at the clock. It had taken half an hour to collect and prepare the supplies for the potion. They hadn’t even heated the cauldron.  
  
“We’re going to be here all night,” she whined. “I’m going to miss dinner.”   
  
“Well this isn’t exactly how I want to be spending my time either, is it? Light your cauldron.”  
  
She pulled out her wand, and Lena quickly grabbed it from her.  
  
“Hey!”  
  
“Not with that.”  
  
“You can’t take my wand!”   
  
“I just did, didn’t I?”   
  
Kara opened her mouth and closed it again.   
  
“But… you’re... Mmmmm!” she groaned. “Give it back!”  
  
“Light the cauldron!”   
  
“You have my wand!”  
  
“It’s a bunsen burner! Honestly, Danvers. Use a bloody match!”   
  
Kara felt heat rising to her head. Maybe Alex was right. Maybe Lena was evil.  
  
She angrily picked up the box of matches from the center of the table and pulled one out. She went to strike it, but she snapped it accidentally. Her second attempt yielded the same result.  
  
“For heaven’s sake!” Lena called in frustration.   
  
She grabbed the box from her and lit a match herself, using it to light the burner under the cauldron.  
  
“Here’s your precious wand back,” she said, thrusting it at her.   
  
Kara snatched it from her grasp.   
  
“You don’t have to be so bossy!”   
  
“You don’t have to be such a baby!” Lena countered.   
  
Kara closed her eyes and took several deep breaths.   
  
“Don’t use your wand to light your burner, at least not until you can control a much smaller flame,” Lena explained after a brief silence. “Incendio is too intense. It can cause inconsistent and uneven heating. Just use a match. Sometimes the non-magic way is the best way, contrary to what most wizards think.”  
  
“You could have just said that, you know.”   
  
“But I couldn’t have. I ask you to light the cauldron, and you pick up your wand and just go for it without a thought. You don’t take the time to think about the right way to do something; you just do it rashly. Potion brewing is a science, yes, but it’s also an art. It takes grace. It takes consideration. You can’t just force a potion into being. You’re so rough. You have to be more gentle.”   
  
Kara exhaled loudly.   
  
“You sound like Snape.”   
  
“Well, maybe you should listen to him. and to me.”   
  
Kara slid her feet back and forth against the floor.   
  
“I’ll try," she said honestly, meeting Lena's eyes.

"Thank you."


	11. Carve a Little Space for You

“Listen to this: ‘Mysterious Hero Prevents _Constitution_ Disaster,’” Alex read the Daily Prophet headline aloud during breakfast in mid-October.

“It says the space shuttle collided with a passenger plane during re-entry,” she explained, “and someone flew up into the sky and stopped them both from crashing. Everyone lived.”

“Rao, that’s incredible!” Kara said. “What a miracle!”

“It was no miracle,” Alex said conspiratorially. “The press was covering the re-entry, I’m sure.”

“You don’t think…” Kara began.

“I do think,” Alex interrupted. “It absolutely sounds like something he would do.”

Lucy came barrelling into the great hall clutching a letter in her fist.

“Did you guys hear about the shuttle?” she asked excitedly.

“Yeah, we were just reading about it,” Kara answered.

“My sister was on the fucking plane!”

“Get out!” Alex yelled.

“You’re lying!” Maggie accused, walking up behind her.

“It’s right here, look! My mom sent me a letter.”

Maggie grabbed the letter from her and clambered onto the bench next to Alex.

“Well, no shit. She was,” she said after skimming the letter. “Man, that had to be terrifying. Can you imagine?”

“Absolutely not,” Alex said. “Even if the plane didn’t crash and kill me, I think I’d die of a heart attack.”

“Maggie!”

A blonde girl Kara recognized as Monica appeared next to the table. Her arms were crossed, and she looked at her fellow Slytherin expectantly.

“Right, coming,” Maggie said.

She shrugged at them and got back up.

“Wow,” Lucy deadpanned as the girls walked away. “I’ll hate to mess up her pretty face next month.”

Alex laughed.

“Yeah, well her looks are about the only thing she’s got going for her.”

“Does the letter say anything about the guy who saved your sister?” Kara asked, getting back to the topic at hand.

“No, not really. I guess Lois only caught a brief glimpse out of one of the windows,” Lucy said. “Apparently she was too preoccupied to take a mental snapshot. Selfish.”

“Well whoever it was, I have a feeling we haven’t seen the last of him,” Alex gave Kara a meaningful look.

Clark had been talking about using his gifts for the benefit of the public since she’d known him. If this was him, it might mean he was finally prepared to take that step.

* * *

The Daily Prophet turned up three mornings later with a large black and white image of a her cousin. He had replaced his glasses for a cape, but she would recognize him anywhere.

He apparently granted Lucy’s sister an interview, and he explained how he planned on being around more often, to help those who needed it. He wanted to be a source of hope for people.

This article was followed by several more, speculating where he had come from and how he had such incredible gifts. “Should he be trusted?” Kara laughed out loud at the last one.

Kara was incredibly excited by Clark coming out as Superman. It gave _her_ hope, that’s for sure. Maybe she would be able to give back to the world that way someday.

Her potions lessons with Lena had remained steadily irritating yet manageable. She respected what Lena was doing for her, but sometimes it was just so frustrating to work with her.

When she walked into her lesson that Thursday afternoon, it was the first time she’d seen Lena with a copy of the Daily Prophet outside of breakfast.

“Draught of Peace,” Lena ordered without preamble.

“Oh, I’m doing fine. How kind of you to ask, Lena. And how are you?” Kara joked.

Apparently Lena wasn’t interested in verbal sparring today. She ignored Kara’s response and placed her book in front of Kara at the table.

“This is _your_ text,” Kara said.

“Yes.”

“I haven’t done this yet. This is an advanced potion.”

“Then you’d better be particularly careful,” she said.

Kara furrowed her brow. Lena was bossy, but she was never unfair.

She read over the directions before moving to collect anything. This was one of the first things Lena had insisted she always do.

“This looks _really_ complicated, Lena,” she said hesitantly.

“You’re perfectly capable,” she answered, her growing impatience clear in her tone.

Lena wasn’t looking at her as she spoke today. She was preoccupied with one of her books, which never happened during Kara’s lessons.

“If you say so,” Kara exhaled loudly.

She collected all of her supplies, and noted how Lena didn’t appear to be monitoring her progress.

She was fifteen minutes into her potion--and already sweaty--when Lena stopped her.

“It should be blue, not orange. You’ve done something wrong. You’ll have to toss it.”

“But… and start all over?” she asked in frustration, blowing the hair out of her face.

“Yes. It takes an hour, so we’ll just have to try again another time.”

Lena got to her feet and shoved her books and newspaper back into her school bag.

“You’re leaving,” Kara stated the obvious.

“How perceptive of you.”

“But we hardly even started. That’s it?”

“Clean up your mess before you leave,” Lena said, leaving Kara perplexed and alone in the potions classroom.

* * *

Kara woke up in the library on Saturday evening, her face in the charms textbook she had been studying. She groaned, rubbing her eyes. She briefly wondered what time it was.

She left the Gryffindor common room when Winn and Lucy had refused to let her study for her exam on Monday. They had been playing exploding snap loudly at the table, so she retreated to the library to find some quiet.

Apparently she’d found it.

She crept out of the library and listened carefully for any prefects or professors who might be patrolling the halls. She was sure it was well after curfew.

_How did students get around at night without super hearing?_

She walked quietly through the halls towards the Gryffindor common room. When she reached the corridor leading up to the Astronomy tower, she found a fluffy black cat sitting at the base of the stairs.

“Toby!” she said, and he meowed loudly at her. “What are you doing here?”

She walked over and sat down on the bottom step, giving him a scratch behind the ears.

He purred and rubbed against her legs.

“It’s a little late for you to be wandering around. I’m sure your mother is worried about you,” she mock reprimanded.

He walked out of her reach and trotted up a few steps.

“Where are you going, silly cat?”

He meowed and walked up a few more steps, stopping and turning to face her.

“I’m not following you, if that’s what you’re getting at. I have to go to bed.”

He gave a loud meow is protest.

“No, I’m sorry,” she said, shaking her head at him.

His cries got louder and more insistent.

“Toby, hush! It’s too late for this!” she whispered loudly.

She began to worry McGonagall was still in her nearby office and would hear the commotion.

“Why am I arguing with a cat?”

He continued to meow.

“Fine, okay. I’m coming. This is ridiculous. You’re ridiculous.”

He pounced up the stairs in front of her, and she listened carefully as she followed behind him.

There was a sniffling sound coming from the platform at the top of the tower, and Kara felt a heaviness in her chest as she realized what Toby was leading her into.

She ignored her instinct to rush up the last of the stairs, and stopped in her place before reaching the top.

Lena was an incredibly private person, and as much as Kara wanted to fix whatever was wrong, she wasn’t sure the older girl would appreciate her uninvited presence.

She looked ahead of her to where the cat had stopped as well. He sat down three stairs from the platform and patiently watched her consider her options.

Well, she had made it this far. Maybe Toby knew what he was doing by bringing her here.

_It would be inconsiderate to turn back at this point, wouldn’t it?_

She ascended the last few steps and the large cat walked up with her.

Lena was seated on the ground with her back against a pillar. There were books and papers spread out around her, but she wasn’t reading them. She was looking out over the grounds, her knees pulled up to her chest.

Her head snapped around as Kara approached, and she looked at her with genuine surprise for several seconds before turning her startled gaze to Toby. Her eyes narrowed at him.

“Traitor,” she bit at the cat.

Her voice sounded gravelly from crying. He responded by rubbing up against her legs and purring.

Kara shuffled her feet awkwardly

“I’m sorry. I can leave if you want. He made me follow him,” she winced at the absurdity of her statement, but Lena didn’t react. “I didn’t know you would be up here.”

“That’s what I figured,” Lena answered apathetically.

She didn’t tell her to leave, which Kara thought was promising.

Lena looked back out over the grounds, and she took a few tentative steps forward to do the same.

“I’ve never been up here at night,” Kara said.

“I’m up here most nights,” she said after a brief pause, “But I’m sure you’ve worked that out by now.”

“That’s what I figured,” Kara repeated Lena’s earlier phrasing. “It’s beautiful.”

It didn’t register that she was watching Lena until the girl turned to meet her eyes.

Kara wanted to ask if she came up here to work, or if she could be found crying up here most nights. The thought made her heart ache.

_What’s wrong?_

The question was on the tip of her tongue, as it had been since she reached the top of the stairs, but she had no intention of asking.

She was determined to let Lena guide the exchange. She had learned her lesson when it came to pushing Lena too hard. She felt like she was pushing it enough just by being up here with her.

Lena had asked for this small bit of respect years ago, and Kara had made a genuine attempt to comply ever since.

“You can sit, if you want,” Lena said quietly.

“I do... want. Thanks.”

_Rao, Kara. Sound more like an imbecile._

She saw Lena wipe at her face as she sat down. She leaned her back against the pillar opposite the older girl, crossing her legs in front of her.

“I’m sorry I made you try to brew the draught of peace,” Lena said.

“‘Try’ being the operative word,” Kara laughed. “It’s okay. Though, I do feel like you were setting me up for failure.”

“Oh, I was,” Lena answered honestly.

Kara laughed harder at this, and Lena smirked.

“Well jeez, did I do something to upset you?”

“No, not at all. I mean, besides being a barely tolerable student,” she teased. “I just wanted to end the lesson early.”

“Lena! If you ever want to cancel or reschedule, you can. Just tell me. I’d much prefer that to an impossible assignment.”

“I’ll remember that for next time.”

“Please do. I am a very reasonable person, after all,” she smiled, nudging Lena’s foot with her own.

Lena smiled back, and turned her gaze back out over the grounds. or up to the sky. or perhaps at nothing at all. Kara couldn’t really tell.

“Did you read the papers this week?” Lena asked curiously.

“Yeah, I did.”

“I wonder if they… Do you know if they have the Daily Prophet in Azkaban?” she asked after a pause.

“I think they do probably, yeah.”

“He’ll know, then. What’s happened.”

Kara sat up straighter.

“Lex, you mean?”

She had never said his name in front of Lena. It felt taboo to bring him up, like his name was a curse word.

“Yes.”

“Is that... significant?”

Kara feigned ignorance. She knew it was exceptionally significant. Clark’s abilities were what led to Lex’s downfall, in a way.

Lena looked back at her, and her eyes sparkled in that examining way.

“You know it is,” she said plainly, before letting out a loud sigh. “Mother will know too.”

She sounded exhausted.

“I don’t know what you mean,” she tried again.

Lena narrowed her eyes.

“Why are you lying to me, Danvers?”

“It’s Kara,” she corrected sadly.

“Why is it so bloody important to you that I use your first name?” she asked, clearly getting frustrated.

“Because ‘Danvers’ is what you call my sister, and you hate Alex. We’re different people, Lena. I don’t want your relationship with her to reflect on me. That isn’t fair. You can't hold me accountable for her actions. I’m not my sister.”

Lena’s expression softened, and Kara realized the implications of what she’d said.

“No, you certainly aren’t.”

They had been sitting in companionable silence for several minutes when Kara couldn’t hold a yawn in anymore.

Lena looked at her watch.

“You should go to bed,” she said.

“So should you,” Kara countered.

Lena reached out to begin closing the books still scattered around.

“Yes, ma’am,” she drawled lazily.

 _Yes, ma’am_ , Kara repeated in her head while she watched Lena collect her papers.

She picked up her discarded tie and draped it over her shoulders before pulling her sweater back on. Kara noted that she liked the Slytherin uniform the best.

She wished desperately that they were going back to the same common room again.

Lena smirked at her as she got to her feet.

“Well are you coming, or are you going to sleep up here?”

Kara sighed. She wasn’t ready for this to end. This was nice.

“If I must,” she said.

Lena’s sleepy eyes lingered on her as she moved to get up.

“Am I allowed to come back to your treehouse?” Kara asked.

Lena laughed softly.

“Just don’t make a habit of it.”

“Yes, ma’am,” she smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the hiatus. Real life got in the way for a while, but I haven't abandoned the story. I promise. I know this chapter is short, but the next one should be up this weekend!


	12. Make Me Feel Like Someone Else

Two Saturdays before the Gryffindor/Slytherin game, Winn came barreling into the common room looking for Kara.

“First of all, she’s fine. But you’ve gotta come. Alex is in the hospital wing.”

“What?!” Kara yelled.

“She’s okay!” he reiterated as they started down the hallway. “Maggie is with her. She got knocked off her broom.”

“Maggie did?”

“No, Alex did. They got in a fight.”

“Maggie and Alex?”

“Yeah, something about scheduling the pitch.”

“So Maggie knocked her off her broom?!”

“No! Kara, stop jumping to conclusions!” he gasped, quickly running out of breath.

She did not have the patience to wait for him to keep up.

“I’ll just let Alex tell me. Thanks, Winn!” she said, running ahead of him towards her sister.

When she got to the hospital wing, she found Maggie pacing out front.

“Kara!” Maggie jumped. “She’s fine, I swear! I’m so sorry!”

“What the hell happened?” she asked.

“Alex meant to book the pitch for this afternoon, but she put the wrong date. I knew what she meant, but I booked today anyway. I was just messing with her. I didn’t mean any real harm.

“She showed up and she was so mad. She flew up and was chewing me out, which I expected. I had my back to her and I guess Monica hit a bludger at her. She didn’t see it coming and it nailed her in the head and knocked her off her broom.”

“Oh my god! And she fell?”

“Well I mean, I couldn’t do anything! I didn’t see it, I’m sorry! But Lena saw it and sort of stopped her momentum. They still took a tumble. It wasn’t pretty. I’m so sorry, Kara.”

“Lena’s hurt, too?!”

“No, I don’t know! She didn’t come with us. I swore her arm was broken but she said she was fine. I just brought Alex.”

Kara noticed that Maggie’s face was damp with tears and she was wringing her hands. She realized she was putting all of the blame on herself.

“Hey. It’s alright, Maggie. You didn’t hurt anyone, okay?”

“You aren’t mad?”

“No! Not at you, anyway.”

She pulled Maggie into a hug, and Winn finally came jogging down the hallway.

“What’s happening now? What did I miss?” he asked.

“Madam Pomphrey is examining her, looking for injuries. She thought she might have a concussion.”

“Right. Okay. But she’s alright?” Kara asked.

“Yeah, Kara. She’ll be fine. She didn’t get knocked out or anything at least. She walked up here with me.”

The hospital wing doors creaked open and Madam Pomphrey stuck her head out.

“You can come in now,” she said kindly.

They walked inside and Alex was sleeping in one of the beds.

“I gave her a sleeping potion, but she’ll be alright. She had a broken collarbone. I mended it, but the pain can linger for a while. I’d prefer her to sleep through it. She’ll be awake in a few hours.”

“There was no concussion then?” Kara asked.

“No, dear. Besides the collarbone, just some bumps and bruises. She’s very lucky. A fall from that height could have done some lasting damage.”

“Thank you,” Maggie said, moving to take a seat by Alex’s bed.

The older girl started crying again as she took Alex’s hand and laid her head down on the bed.

“She’s okay, Maggie,” Kara comforted her as she sat down on the opposite side of the bed.

“It’s my fault this happened. Why couldn’t I just schedule it properly? Why did I have to mess with her?”

“Stop. Listen, you aren’t the one that hit the bludger at her. This isn’t even the first time she’s broken her collarbone,” Kara confessed awkwardly.

“It’s not?” Maggie asked, lifting her head back up.

“No,” Kara shifted awkwardly in her seat. “And the other time, it was unquestionably my fault. We were rough-housing. I just… I moved her wrong and, it just broke. I literally broke it myself, Maggie. And she forgave me without thought. This won’t even be a thing between you two. I swear.”

Maggie nodded.

Kara felt guilt wash over her as she remembered that night. They had been arguing, and Kara didn’t have a proper grasp of her strength yet. She hadn’t been on Earth for very long at that point.

“Where’s Lena, Maggie?” she asked after a pause.

“I genuinely don’t know. I tried to get her to come with us, Kara, I really did. But you know Lena. She’s so stubborn. I know her arm is broken. I saw it.”

“What did she do, exactly?”

“She flew after Alex,” Winn explained from the foot of the bed. “She grabbed her arm, and Alex did her best to grab hold of Lena’s broom, but she was going so fast by the time she caught up to her. They collided with one of the draperies on the side of the pitch. They just kind of tumbled down inside of it and crashed to the ground.”

“If she hadn’t caught her, Kara…” Maggie started.

“But she did, and that’s all that matters, okay?” Kara placed a comforting hand on Maggie’s arm. “I need to find her. Did she maybe go back to your dorm?”

“No, I don’t think so. She came inside the castle with us, but she went the opposite direction of the dungeons.”

“Okay. I think I know where she went. You’ll stay with Alex until I get back?”

“Absolutely,” Maggie replied emphatically.

Kara looked at Winn with raised eyebrows, and he nodded.

* * *

She considered using her x-ray vision to see what Lena was up to at the top of the Astronomy Tower, but Alex had insisted time and again that it was incredibly rude, so she resisted the urge and used her super-hearing instead. A part of her knew that wasn't any better, but she shut the thought out quickly.

She heard a sharp intake of breath, and immediately rushed up the stairs.

When she reached the top, she found Lena’s quidditch robes unceremoniously pooled on the ground. She looked around the landing and found Lena seated on the steps.

She was wearing a green t-shirt, which was a jarring sight. She’d only ever seen the girl in a button-up or expensive looking sweater.

She was wincing in pain, and had her wand gripped with white knuckles in her right hand.

“What are you doing?!” Kara yelled before she could stop herself.

“You’re welcome!” Lena snapped, her focus remaining on her left arm.

“Lena… of course I’m grateful,” she said as she approached. “You have no idea how grateful I am. But what are you doing up here? Maggie said you broke your arm. Why aren’t you in the hospital wing?”

“I’m fine,” she ground out between clenched teeth.

“Clearly.”

Lena rolled her shoulders back and took a deep breath.

“Look, it’s fine. Really.”

She held her arm out for Kara to inspect.

Kara looked at her skeptically.

“Did you mend it yourself?”

“I don’t do the hospital wing,” she said in way of response.

“That’s so dangerous, Lena! You could make it so much worse.”

“I’m practiced,” she said bitterly, once again extending her arm towards Kara.

Kara didn’t like the implications of that, but she didn’t inquire further.

She sat down on the steps with a huff and faced Lena.

She grabbed her wrist with one hand, and gently squeezed the area near Lena’s wrist with her other hand. She slowly worked her way up the girl’s forearm feeling for any abnormalities. Judging by the face Lena was making, the break had been there. It felt perfectly fine now, though.

When Lena didn’t stop her, she continued her journey up the girl’s arm. Her elbow seemed fine. She bent it, just for good measure. She noted the firmness of her upper arm when she reached it, absently acknowledging that quidditch had apparently been doing her well.

She was sliding her hand up under Lena’s shirt sleeve, appreciating the impossibly soft skin under her fingers, when the girl’s pointedly raised eyebrows caught her notice.

Kara quickly released her, clearing her throat and adjusting her glasses.

“It feels fine to me,” she said in her best all-business voice.

“I’d say,” Lena quipped.

_What does that mean?_

“You could still have a concussion!” she quickly changed the subject. She felt flushed.

_What’s the matter with you, Kara?_

“I don’t have a concussion.”

“How can you be sure?”

“I’ve had a concussion before. I don’t have a concussion now.”

“Leeenaaa,” she whined.

“Listen, do you really want to help?”

“Yes!” Kara answered enthusiastically.

“Then go get me something for the pain in my arm. Which will, coincidentally, take care of the pain in my arse.”

Kara glared at her.

“Fine.”

“Do not tell Madam Pomphrey it’s for me. The woman fusses over the tiniest thing. Just tell her you have a headache or something.”

Kara got to her feet and turned to face the other girl, crossing her arms.

“I don’t approve of this.”

“I know you don’t,” Lena said dismissively.

Kara exhaled dramatically, turning back for the stairs.

* * *

When she returned, Lena was flat on her back with her quidditch uniform bunched up under her head.

“Are you okay?” Kara asked in panic, rushing over.

“You’re quite the worrier, aren’t you?” she asked, not lifting her head.

“Only when people fall off their broomsticks.”

“I didn’t fall off my broom,” she corrected. “I crashed it.”

“Right, that’s much better. Sit up and drink this.”

Kara sat back down on the steps, and handed her the small bottle when she sat up.

Lena was clearly favoring her hurt arm, and Kara wondered how long the pain was supposed to last.

“How’s your sister?” she asked after she downed the potion.

“She’s fine, thanks to you. She had a broken collarbone, but Madam Pomphrey mended it. She’s sleeping it off now.”

Lena nodded in understanding.

“Lena, seriously. I can’t thank you enough. You might have saved her life.”

“Well that’s a bit dramatic, but you’re welcome.” She fiddled with the bottle in her hands before continuing. “You don’t seem surprised.”

“Surprised about what? That you helped her?”

Lena nodded again.

“I’m not. Why would I be surprised?”

“Because I hate her,” she said honestly. “She was surprised. She was absolutely dumbfounded. I figure she would have let me fall if the tables were turned.”

Kara laughed.

“I think that’s what she’d say too, but I don’t think it’s the truth. It’s a shame you two can’t find a way to get along. You actually have a lot in common.”

At Lena’s grimace, Kara continued, “No, really! You’re both super smart and take your studies obnoxiously seriously, you’re ridiculously competitive, and you both regularly give me lectures about how wizards are overly reliant on their magic.”

“Stop comparing me to your sister. It’s creepy.”

“Why is it creepy?” she asked in mild outrage.

“Just trust me. It is.”

Lena reclined back against her robes and closed her eyes.

“Is the potion working?”

“It’s starting to, yes.”

“Good.”

Kara tapped her hands impatiently against her knees.

“I can’t believe Monica lashed out like that over a stupid scheduling argument!” she finally said.

“You don’t like the quiet, do you?” Lena asked rhetorically.

“Not really,” she sighed. “Sorry.”

“I don’t think what Monica did had anything to do with the scheduling argument,” Lena smirked. “I think it had a lot more to do with jealousy.”

“What do you mean?” Kara asked.

Lena turned to meet her eyes, brow furrowed.

“You really don’t know what I mean,” she said after a pause. It wasn’t a question.

“Should I?”

“I suppose not. It’s just that Maggie and Monica are… That is to say, they were-”

“Dating?” Kara interrupted.

No one had actually told her, but she's not stupid. She saw their interactions, and it seemed awfully couple-y.

Lena blinked at her a few times before answering slowly, “Something like that, yes. They were involved. It doesn’t matter now anyway. Maggie kicked Monica off the team right then and there. I’m sure our dormitory is going to be a lot of fun tonight.”

“She kicked her off the team?”

“Mhm.”

“Two weeks before the big match?”

“Don’t remind me,” Lena groaned. “Now we’ll certainly be stuck with Mike.”

“I feel bad for Maggie. I mean i’m glad she broke up with Monica, but that still sucks for her.”

“I think Maggie will be just fine,” Lena laughed.

“What do you mean?”

“She doesn’t have much trouble in that department,” Lena smirked. “If you’re worried about her, worry because she’s gone through almost every queer girl in the school.”

Kara blushed. She didn’t know that.

“ _Almost_ ,” Lena emphasized, giving Kara a look she couldn’t interpret.

They sat in silence for a few moments before Kara realized the implications of what Lena had said earlier.

“What do you mean she was jealous?” she heard herself ask into the quiet.

“Monica?” Lena clarified.

At Kara’s nod, she continued.

“Well, I think she probably sees Maggie with your sister and doesn't like it. She is not quiet about her dislike of Alex.”

“You think she sees something between them that isn't there? Something romantic?” Kara asked.

Lena hesitated before answering.

“I think she perceives something more than friendship between them.”

She felt Lena’s eyes on her as she processed that.

She wasn't sure if the older girl was right, but she certainly knew Monica Flint better than Kara did. She had never even spoken to the girl. Maggie never brought her around.

She wondered why Monica would have gotten that impression. Did Maggie make her feel that way? Maybe Maggie liked Alex. Rao, she hoped not. That would be devastating to their friendship.

Alex had never mentioned Maggie being gay, and her sister talked to her about everything. It's possible she didn't even know.

When she came out of her thoughts, she found Lena still watching her intently.

“How do you know it isn’t true?” Lena asked her.

Kara thought about her question for a moment.

“You mean, how do I know there isn’t something going on with Alex and Maggie?”

Lena nodded.

“Well, Alex isn’t gay.”

“But, how do you know? How can you be sure?”

“Because she would have told me,” she said plainly. “We tell each other everything, and that would be a big thing to keep secret. Trust me. I would know if she was.”

“Alright,” Lena said, dropping the subject but still softly searching Kara’s eyes.

“How's your arm?” Kara asked, clearing her throat.

She reached out and placed her hand on where the break had been, and Lena’s eyes followed the movement.

She heard Lena’s heart rate increase, and when green eyes met hers again, the expression she saw was stoney and determined.

“It's fine now,” she said somewhat harshly.

_What have I done this time?_

Lena pulled her arm away and stood up abruptly, using only her good arm for support.

“What are you doing?” Kara asked in confusion, still seated.

Lena looked around them as though she was lost briefly before bending down and picking up her previously discarded robes.

“I need to study,” she said resolutely.

“Oh… okay.”

Kara didn't try to hide her confused expression as she stood up.

“And you should be with your sister, not with me.”

Kara opened her mouth to respond, but Lena cut her off.

“Thank you for the pain potion.”

It was said with finality. That was the end of the conversation.

“You're welcome.”

Kara sighed as Lena swiftly exited for the staircase.

* * *

Kara made her way to potions tutoring the following Tuesday evening with some apprehension. She wasn’t exactly sure where she stood with Lena after their last meeting.

She opened the door to the now familiar sight of the other girl seated on a potions stool like it was a throne, engrossed in a textbook.

“Hi,” Kara said bashfully, pulling the creaky wooden door closed behind her.

“Antidote to Uncommon Poisons,” was the only response she got.

“Right. Okay.”

So that’s how it was.

She pulled out her potions book and dropped her bag gracelessly to the floor.

She crawled onto the stool next to Lena and started flipping through the pages, looking for the correct potion.

Why exactly was Lena mad at her? She replayed the final moments of their last exchange over and over again in the three days since it happened, and she can’t for the life of her figure it out.

She touched her arm. That was the last thing. Was Lena mad that she touched her? It hadn’t seemed to bother her before.

Pale, perfectly manicured fingers reached into her field of vision and interrupted her thoughts, violating her personal space. Not that she minded. The hand deftly flipped through her book to the appropriate page.

When she looked up, Lena was smirking at her softly.

“Stop pouting. Your face will stick that way.”

Kara smiled at that. Lena wasn’t mad. At least, not so mad she couldn’t tease her.

“Your perfume is nice.”

Wait. Those weren’t the words she meant to say. Those were the words she was thinking in the privacy of her own mind.

“Expensive,” she continued when Lena raised her eyebrows.

What was happening? Why was her brain doing this?

She tried to explain, “I- I mean, it smells like it’s nice perfume. like it’s expensive.”

She was sure she saw the hint of a smile that Lena was trying to suppress, but she licked her lips, and it was gone.

That hand reached in front of her once more and tapped on the page, a silent instruction.

When Kara picked up her book, Lena closed the one she had been reading. Kara caught sight of a folded up scrap of parchment underneath. On the front was written her name: _Lena_.

It wasn’t weird that someone might have written Lena a note.

It was weird that it was unmistakably Alex’s handwriting.

She went about gathering her supplies, trying to come up with a plan. She had to see that note. Why would Alex have written Lena a note? It couldn’t be anything good.

 _Stay away from my sister_ , she imagined it read.

She walked back over to the table and sat down.

“Can you get the fire seeds for me?” she asked Lena.

Admittedly, it wasn’t a particularly sophisticated plan.

“Why?” Lena asked skeptically.

“I couldn’t find them,” she answered quickly.

“They’re on the third shelf from the top, left hand side. Blue jar.”

“Fine, you caught me,” she feigned guilt. “I think I saw a spider on it.”

“And that’s somehow my problem?” Lena asked incredulously.

“Please, Lena, pleease,” she begged, giving her best puppy dog face.

Lena rolled her eyes, getting off of her stool.

Kara grabbed the parchment as soon as Lena turned away, quickly unfolding it. 

> _What you did for me was really cool. I know I didn’t deserve it. I owe you one._

Kara was ecstatic. Alex thanked Lena. It was a nice note.

She quickly shoved it back where she had found it.

Lena walked back over to the table and place the fire seeds down. She frowned deeply when she saw the smile Kara was wearing.

“What’s got you so happy?” she asked suspiciously.

“Nothing,” she answered, not trying to hide her grin.

“Bollocks. You look like you swallowed a canary.”

Kara reached over Lena as she sat back down, rifling under her books and pulling out the note once again. She was a bad liar, anyway.

“Merlin, you’re nosey,” she said.

Kara just smiled in response.

* * *

Kara blew the hair out of her face, pushing rolled up sleeves further up her arms.

“This is impossible,” Kara complained.

“You’re impossible,” Lena snapped, her head in her hands.

“It’s not my fault! You’re the teacher. Teach me how to do this properly!”

“You’re. not. listening to me.”

“I am listening!”

“Well maybe you could hear me better if your head wasn’t so far up your arse!”

Kara wanted to scream. She wanted to pull her hair out. She wanted to eat dinner.

“You can go to dinner when you’ve finished, and not a moment sooner,” Lena said.

“You can’t be serious! It’s been over two hours. You should’ve let me go an hour ago.”

“No chance. That’s not the way this works. Like you said, I’m the teacher. I dismiss you.”

“Dinner is practically over by now! I’ll have missed it completely by the time we’re done!”

“Then stop complaining and start working, Kara!”

She felt her breath halt in her chest. _Did she just..._

Lena stretched her jaw, apparently attempting to dislodge the look of surprise she couldn’t immediately hide.

“You called me ‘Kara,’” she said, a smile spreading slowly across her face.

“It is your name, is it not?” Lena said with exaggerated nonchalance that failed to convince anyone. For once, she didn’t meet the younger girl’s eyes.

“It is, but I wasn’t sure you knew that,” Kara replied, not trying to subdue her grin.

“Stop looking at me like that,” Lena said uncomfortably, starting to pack her books into her bag. “It’s just your name. Am I not supposed to say it?”

“Of course you are! I liked it,” she teased. “Say it again.”

Lena’s usually pale cheeks turned a deep crimson.

“Stop that,” she reprimanded, and Kara chuckled.

“I thought we had to stay until I finished the potion,” she said when Lena picked up her bag.

“You’re more trouble than you’re worth when you’re hungry. We’ll try again Thursday.”

* * *

Kara jogged at a human pace toward the Great Hall, glancing at her watch as she went.

When she came through the doors and saw food still on the tables, she cried out in joy.

She sat down next to her sister, who pushed a full plate in front of her.

“Tutoring go late?” she asked. “We thought you weren’t going to make it in time.”

“I nearly didn’t,” she answered, her mouth already full of potatoes.

“What happened?” Maggie asked curiously.

“Nothing, just Lena being Lena. She said I couldn’t go to dinner until I finished my potion.”

They all laughed at her pained expression.

“It was weird, actually. I was just thinking about how hungry I was when she told me I couldn’t eat until I got it right. I hadn’t even said anything.”

“You mean you were thinking about food at the exact moment someone mentioned food? I’m shocked,” Winn joked.

“Or maybe the rumors are true,” Maggie said, waggling her eyebrows slightly. “Maybe she was reading your mind.”

“What are you going on about?” Alex asked.

Lucy laughed. “You mean you haven’t heard? She’s a legilimens.”

“That’s ridiculous!” Kara said. “That’s super rare, to be a genuine legilimens.”

“Obviously it’s ridiculous. It’s just another one of the Lena rumors,” Lucy responded, grabbing another dinner roll.

“What Lena rumors?” Alex asked.

“Oh, you know,” Maggie said, rolling her eyes. “She’s an animagus. She’s the youngest Death Eater to ever be recruited. She actually imperiused her whole family and she’s running the Luthor business. What else?”

“She’s a parselmouth!” Lucy added.

“Right! And, of course, she reads minds,” Maggie finished.

“Well rumors don’t just come out of nowhere,” Alex said.

“Oh, come on, Alex. There are a thousand of them. It doesn’t mean any of them are true, just that people are afraid of the Luthors,” Winn said.

“Then how do you explain what just happened with Kara?” she asked him.

“Gee, I don’t know. How could someone know that Kara might be hungry and want the dinner that she’s late for?”

“But Lena doesn’t know Kara that well. It’s not like they hang out. How would she know that she’s always hungry?”

“Anyone who’s spent 5 minutes with your sister knows that she’s always hungry,” Maggie said.

“I’m right here, guys,” Kara interjected.

“Relax, Alex,” Maggie said, putting a hand comfortingly on her back. “It was just a joke.”

“I’m just saying, you never know.”

“And here I was thinking you had turned a corner on your relationship with Lena,” Kara said sadly, a smile creeping onto her face.

“What? What are you talking about?” Alex asked in confusion.

“The note,” Kara nudged her sister. “I saw it.”

At that, Maggie broke out in laughter.

“What’s so funny?” Kara asked. It was her turn to be confused.

“Show her!” Maggie said to an irritated looking Alex.

Her sister reached down into her bag and pulled out several crumpled up pieces of parchment, discarding a few onto the table until she found the one she wanted. She shoved it in front of Kara. 

> _Was I just supposed to let you die? Don’t be so soft, Danvers._

Kara sighed at the sight of Lena’s handwriting.

“Okay, I have homework to do,” Alex said, and they all got to their feet.

As they collectively made their way to the halls, Alex grabbed her by the elbow and pulled her back.

“You need to be careful with Lena.”

“Rao, Alex. We’ve had this talk a thousand times. I know.”

“No, I mean, if the rumors are true…”

“They aren’t!”

“You can’t know that! Not for sure.”

“Listen, Alex. If Lena can read minds, she already knows about my abilities. This is your 6th year together. You mean to tell me that you’ve never thought about it while you were around her?”

Alex shuffled her feet, thinking, “Well, I’m sure I have, but-”

“Exactly. It’s too late to worry about that now. If it’s true, which it isn’t, she already knows. If it’s not true, we have nothing to worry about.”

“Hey!” Mike greeted them as he made his way out of the great hall.

“Hi!” Kara responded congenially.

He stopped when he got to them.

“What do you want?” Alex asked, giving him an irritated look.

“I’m on the Slytherin team now. I just wanted to wish you luck at the match.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Why are you being nice?”

“Alex!”

“No, no,” Mike laughed, “It’s a valid question. Look, you know me at my worst, Alex. You know me trying to do potions. I just don’t want you to think that’s how I always am.”

“Whatever, okay. Good luck then.” Alex made a shooing gesture towards the halls.

“Okay. Well goodnight. I’ll see you around, Kara?” he asked, placing a warm hand on her arm.

“Yeah, of course,” she answered.

Kara thought back to her potions lesson as they began walking to the Gryffindor common room. She smiled at the memory of Lena using her first name. She wasn't sure why it meant so much to her, probably because it took 4 years. Maybe Lena was finally starting to see her as a friend. Of course, the fact that the older girl ran off immediately after it happened wasn't particularly promising. Still, that probably had to do with Kara's teasing. She smiled remembering the blush she brought to Lena's cheeks.

“Ugh. Don’t even think about it, Kara,” her sister said.

“What are you talking about?”

“Mike. I don’t know what that was or what you're thinking, but trust me. He’s the worst.”

“I’m not interested in Mike!” she said honestly. She could count on one hand the number of times she’d even spoken to him.

“Good.”


	13. An Invitation to Your Personal Disaster

When Lena and Maggie made their way back into the dormitory after their loss to Gryffindor, Monica was immediately before them, arms crossed and nose in the air.

“You know you would have won if I was out there with you.”

“Leave it, Flint,” Lena spat. She was in no mood to argue.

“You know I’m right, Lena! Mike isn’t worth shit out there.”

“I don’t regret my decision for a second, Monica,” Maggie explained plainly. “I’d do it again, the loss notwithstanding. You’re a bad sport, and a generally terrible human being.”

Lena’s favorite thing about Maggie Sawyer was her honestly.

They went into the match expecting the loss. Not that it didn’t sting, especially the satisfaction it gave Danvers. Lena wanted to smack the smug look right off of her face.

“How are you not livid, Lena?” Monica pleaded with her. “If she wasn’t sweet on Danvers you’d be walking in here with me, and with your shoulders high!”

“I’m not angry because I agree with her. Merlin, you’re daft. She’d have kicked you off the team if you did that to anyone on their team, not just her girlfriend.”

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Maggie supplied.

“Much to your dismay, we know,” Lena snarked to Maggie before turning back to Monica. “Get over it already. You’re off the team, and that’s that. You did it to yourself. We lost today, not because Mike is a terrible beater, but because Mike doesn’t know how to work hard at anything in his life. But you know what? He’s still a better teammate than you ever were.”

Monica snarled - actually snarled, like the animal that she was.

“Fuck the both of you,” she said before storming out.

Lena rolled her eyes and looked at Maggie, who shrugged and kicked off her boots.

* * *

Lena took her time cleaning up her potions supplies as the rest of her classmates filed out into the hall on Tuesday afternoon.

When she finally had the classroom to herself, she pulled out a mechanical engineering textbook. This was the last book she had for her own personal study.

She typically owled her book orders to Tomes and Scrolls in Hogsmeade and picked them up on the weekends. This wasn’t a service they offered to anyone else, but Lena had the funds to be very persuasive.

Academic pursuits were one thing she never had to fight her parents over paying for. Not that they’d have noticed if she took what she needed without permission.

Unfortunately after the attack in Hogsmeade, Dumbledore -- as expected -- banned her from leaving the grounds. As if she couldn’t protect herself! It was insulting, frankly.

And inconvenient.

She had a plan, of course. She always had a plan.

If there was one thing she learned from the Luthors, it was how to delegate. You couldn’t have your hand in every cookie jar at the same time. No -- sometimes you had to have people take the cookies for you.

Or the textbooks.

That’s where her pupil came in. She spun her quill around between her fingers and glanced at the door Kara would be coming through soon. She felt guilty.

Stop it, Lena. Guilt is weakness.

Or, maybe it wasn’t. She couldn’t be sure. Was everything she had been taught as a child a lie, or was there value in some it? That was a question she had been trying to work out for years.

The only thing she knew for sure was that if she asked Kara -- err, Danvers (she really needed to stop using the girl’s name in her head, lest it leak into her words again) -- to retrieve her textbooks from the book shop, she would say yes.

Kara would say yes to anything Lena asked, due to the younger girl’s enormous crush on her. And that… that’s what was making her feel guilty. She shouldn’t use Kara’s feelings as a weapon. That’s something her family would do.

Still, it was only books. And Kara would probably do it for anyone, seeing as she’s possibly the nicest human being in the world.

Lena sighed. She had to stop thinking about Kara like that. She was starting to go soft on her.

She had known about Kara’s feelings since the summer. That was the first time she spent any period of time in the girl’s proximity.

She couldn’t read the Gryffindor’s thoughts -- not that it mattered. She was pretty sure she knew more about Kara’s feelings than she did. But she could sense the other girl’s emotions.

Her legilimency wasn’t something she found useful very often. Typically it just brought her trouble. She tried to keep it under control, but it was hard sometimes. It was especially hard when a girl was looking at her with doe eyes, practically vibrating with affection.

Lena knew exactly how everyone felt about her. That was the curse of her abilities. Most people weren’t a fan. Most people weren’t a friend.

She hadn’t been able to read Kara as easily - not at first, anyway. That’s what had made her especially cautious of the girl. She couldn’t fathom what her motivation for wanting to get to know her could possibly be.

Now that they’ve spent more time together, she knows that Kara doesn’t have a deceptive bone in her body. She can tell when Kara lies now, though it happens rarely, and is usually done in an attempt to spare Lena’s feelings.

If she was honest, it wasn’t her legilimency that first convinced her Kara was a genuinely good person. It was Toby.

When they shared a dormitory last summer and she had found her cat sleeping on Kara’s chest, that’s when she knew. Toby was the best judge of character. If Toby approved, she knew the girl was good news.

And Kara-- well, Kara absolutely adores Lena. And it’s really starting to get on her nerves.

Lena Luthor doesn’t have friends. Not really, not true friends. She has acquaintances that she can get a spiced cider with at the Three Broomsticks. She has teammates to play Quidditch with. But that’s where it stops, and that’s how she likes it. She has more important things to do.

She has to fix everything her family is tearing apart, and it’s a full-time job.

That’s why she doesn’t have time to deal with Kara’s affections, even just the friendly ones. And even if she did, she couldn’t possibly suck such a sweet person into her horrible world.

Lena swallowed hard and pretended to be reading her mechanical engineering textbook when she heard the door begin to creak open.

“Hi, Lena!” Kara said excitedly, tossing her back onto the floor and flopping down unceremoniously onto the seat beside her.

“You’re in a good mood,” she observed.

“Why shouldn’t I be?”

“Because you’re about to brew potions, which you hate?” she tried.

Kara’s face fell, but only slightly, before perking back up again.

“But I get to brew them with you, which I like.”

Lena let out a noise between a laugh and a scoff. Her gifts weren’t even necessary with Kara. Still, Lena couldn’t help but feel the sincerity of the girl’s words. It made her warm.

“If you say so. You’re going to brew the Antidote to Uncommon Poisons, again.”

“Again?” Kara groaned. “This is like the fiftieth time. What do you want from me?”

“It’s the sixth time, and I want it to be perfect. It’s a very good practice potion. You can use the elements necessary to brew the Antidote in so many other potions. Get this down, and you’re well on your way to brewing other good potions as well.”

Kara sighed dramatically and made her way to the supply cupboard, not even bothering to bring the book with her this time.

Kara was incredibly smart, she was just wildly impatient. If she could harness her energy and interest, Kara could actually be a very skilled potion mistress.

Did Kara know that? She hoped so. Telling her was out of the question, as Kara would almost certainly misread the observation as some kind of affection. She had to be incredibly careful what she said to her.

She was concerned when she found out she would be tutoring her for exactly that reason. Snape, no doubt, had also probably picked up on Kara’s kind feelings for Lena and figured they could be friends if they were forced to work together.

Men were stupid.

Lena read while Kara worked in comfortable silence. When Kara was about halfway finished, the door creaked open yet again. That never happened.

Turning, she saw Mike’s head peeking through the door.

“What do you want?” she asked.

“I’m just checking on two of my favorite ladies,” he said, coming inside fully and closing the door behind him.

Lena felt the mood in the room shift dramatically.

Two of his favorite ladies? She wasn’t even aware that he knew Kara. Since when was she one of his favorite ladies?

She looked to Kara for some explanation. She tried to meet the girl’s eyes, but for once, Kara wasn’t looking at her. This made reading her much more difficult.

Kara was uncomfortable. Embarrassed, maybe. It was radiating off of her in waves.

She looked back at Mike, but he wasn’t looking at her either.

Oh.

Lust. Merlin, she could have gagged on it.

Since when?

Mike walked around the table and pulled up a stool opposite them. She had to consciously subdue an eye roll.

“Whatcha working on?” he asked Kara.

“The Antidote to Uncommon Poisons,” Lena answered for her. “And we’re kind of busy.”

“Oh, man. Is she making you brew it a thousand times?” he directed at Kara once again, looking at her like she was part of his secret club. “Alex makes me brew it like every week. Something about it being a staple potion to practice with.”

“Well, at least we know your tutor isn’t the reason you’re still incompetent,” she jabbed, her voice harsher than she meant for it to be.

They both looked at her. Kara was confused at her outburst.

“It wasn’t my fault we lost, Lena. We would have lost with Monica, too,” he complained before turning back to Kara. “She’s still mad about the match.”

“I’m not!” she said. “It’s just that I’m trying to do a job here, and Danvers is trying to learn, and you’re a distraction. I just want to finish up and get out of here, and you’re delaying that.”

She met the younger girl’s eyes, and felt the hurt her words had caused. That’s not what she had meant to happen. She just wanted Mike gone.

“The potion is just heating up right now anyway, Lena,” Kara argued reasonably. “There’s nothing to do but wait.”

She was taking his side.

“Kara…” she started in a stern tone, still staring into the younger girl’s eyes.

Using her given name was a warning. It was an apology. It was blatant emotional manipulation. She had done it as a reaction, without thought.

In an instant, Kara went from hurt and annoyance to overwhelming affection and pride.

Lena had to pull her gaze away. Looking into Kara’s eyes in that moment was like staring into the sun.

“She’s right, Mike. I’m sorry. This is a lesson, not time for socializing.”

She was so kind. Lena’s chest was heavy with guilt.

“Right, okay,” he said, throwing Lena a look of irritation. “I’ll come find you at dinner, okay Kara?”

“Sure,” she said noncommittally.

“What was that about?” Lena asked as soon as the door closed behind him.

“What do you mean?” Kara asked, her cheeks flushing pink as she returned her attention the potion.

“Are you guys like a thing now?” she didn’t beat around the bush.

“No!” Kara said.

She was lying.

“You can tell me. It’s not like I care. I was just curious.”

She waited while Kara took a few breaths, opening and closing her mouth to speak a few times.

“He asked me out,” Kara admitted eventually, her eyes on her fidgeting fingers.

“I see.”

“I said no.”

“Oh.”

Kara looked up at her then, brow furrowed, and Lena realized she had sounded a little relieved.

She didn’t feel relieved. She felt angry.

“Why did you say no?”

“I don’t know. I hardly know him. I’ve never really thought about him like that. But anyway, now he kind of won’t leave me alone.”

“And now?”

“‘Now’ what?”

“Now, are you thinking about him like that?”

“I thought you didn’t care,” Kara said bravely.

“I don’t. I’m just making conversation while that heats up,” she gestured at the cauldron.

“Right. Well, I don’t know. I don’t mind his company. I guess I’ll see how I feel once I know him a little better.”

“Mmmm.”

She felt her chest heating up.

Why was this affecting her so much? She had never been interested in Kara. Maybe it was just wounded pride. She was used to being the focus of Kara’s affections. The girl having interest elsewhere kind of ruined that ego boost.

“Listen, I need a favor,” she heard herself say.

Kara looked at her in surprise.

“Anything,” the younger girl said.

She pulled out a list of books and handed it to her.

* * *

Kara walked into Tomes and Scrolls on a Saturday in early December. The bell jingled overhead, and an older witch smiled at them from behind a counter.

Kara pulled off her gloves and stretched her fingers in the warmth of the store. It was dusty, and it smelled like old books. She liked it.

She pulled the list out of her pocket and approached the woman at the counter.

“Good morning! I’m picking up an order for Lena Luthor.”

The woman raised her eyebrows.

“Miss Luthor always picks up her own books,” she said skeptically. “Who are you, exactly?”

“Oh. I’m… I’m a friend.”

“Is that so?” she asked.

“Yes. Here... “

She opened the bag Lena had given her, only just remembering the envelope inside. She pulled out the letter, sealed with an emerald, wax L, and handed it to the shop keeper.

The woman smiled understandingly when she saw the apparently familiar envelope, and walked into the back as she tore it open.

She returned a few minutes later with a stack of half a dozen large textbooks.

“Very well. Here you are.”

Kara pulled out the exact change Lena had given to her, and handed it to the woman.

Kara started putting the books into the bag as the woman counted the money.

“You should check them,” the woman said kindly.

“Sorry?” Kara asked.

“Miss Luthor always double checks that she’s gotten the correct ones.” She pointed to the list in Kara’s hand. “You should check them.”

“Oh. Right. Thanks.”

Kara checked all the titles and authors to make sure they matched what she had on the list, and thanked the woman before leaving.

“I’ll see you next month,” she smiled. “Give Miss Luthor my best.”

* * *

Kara made her way back towards the castle when she saw Alex, Lucy, and Winn walking in her direction. She immediately turned around and headed away from them.

“Kara!” she heard her sister yell.

Damn.

Kara took a deep breath and turned around, waving and smiling. How was she going to explain the books to Alex? Her sister wouldn’t be thrilled about this.

“Hey! What are you up to?” Winn asked.

“Oooh, just doing a little shopping. How about you guys?”

“We’re meeting Maggie at the Three Broomsticks,” Lucy answered. “Come with us!”

“Uuhmm,” she hesitated, trying to come up with an excuse that wasn’t I’m excited to take these books to Lena.

“Yeah, okay!” she finally answered.

“What’s up with you?” Alex asked suspiciously and they walked up to the bar.

“Nothing. What’s up with you?” Kara countered brilliantly.

Alex rolled her eyes.

Maggie waved them over to a table in the corner as they entered. Kara put the bag of books protectively under her chair when she sat down.

“So what did you buy?” Winn asked.

“Huh?”

“That giant bag you’re carrying,” Lucy laughed. “What’s in it?”

“Oh, just some books,” she said casually.

“Restocking the library?” Alex asked, equally casually.

Kara laughed and took a drink of her butterbeer.

Alex exchanged a look with Maggie next to her, who chimed in.

“Kara. Seriously. What’s with the books?”

Kara sighed. They clearly weren’t going to let this go.

“They’re for Lena,” Kara said simply.

“Come again?” Lucy asked in surprise. “Early Christmas present, or…”

“No! No, it’s not a gift. She bought them. I’m just picking them up for her. Dumbledore won’t let her leave the grounds.”

Alex put her face in her hands.

“Since when are you her errand girl? Doesn’t she have friends she can ask?”

“No,” Maggie answered, smirking. “Not like Kara.”

Lucy reached under Kara’s chair and pulled out the bag.

“Hey!” Kara protested.

“What? I want to see what’s on the reading list.”

She pulled the textbooks out one at a time and set them on the table, reading the titles as she went.

“Merlin, these are boring. Nothing dark or twisted at all.”

“Sound more disappointed,” Winn said, reading the back cover of one of the books.

Alex had grabbed one as well, and was currently flipping through it. “Pretentious,” she snorted, but proceeded to spend the rest of their gathering reading.

* * *

Kara would give Lena the books at the next tutoring session on Tuesday. That’s what they had agreed upon. But honestly, the idea of having an excuse to see Lena for a third time that week made her stomach flip.

She was starting to wonder if her feelings for Lena were more than that of simple friendship. Kara had plenty of friends, and none of them made her feel the way that Lena did.

But then, she’d never had feelings for a girl before. As far as she knew, she was pretty straight. She definitely had liked James. That was easy to recognize. This was way cloudier.

Maybe what she felt was just admiration. Maybe the fact that Lena was so guarded, so inaccessible, made befriending her more exciting.

She pushed the thought to the back of her mind. It didn’t matter anyway. Lena was straight, and she hardly tolerated her.

Kara liked boys. She knew that, and that was easy. She would just stick with that.

Like… Mike. She could always date Mike. He was cute, and pretty nice. And he was persistent. Kind of annoyingly persistent. But he was there, and he was interested. That’s more than she could say about Lena.

And she had never even kissed anyone. Maybe she needed to kiss a boy to know for sure. Maybe that would clear it up.

Maybe she would just stop by the astronomy tower that night. If Lena happened to be up there, she’d give her the books. If not, no big deal. Right? Right.

* * *

Kara went up to her dormitory when everyone else did, and got changed into her pajamas as per her usual routine.

Only tonight when she walked over to her bed, she didn’t crawl under the covers. She pulled out the sack with Lena’s books in it from underneath the bed, and made her way out the door.

She was frustrated with how late everyone had stayed up tonight. It was nearly 1 a.m.

When she approached the stairway to the Astronomy tower, Toby came prancing up to her and rubbed on her legs.

“Well, hello,” she said kindly.

She pulled the awkwardly small bag straps over her shoulder and reached down to pick up the fluffy, black cat, cradling him like a baby in her arms.

He purred contentedly as she walked up the stairs, confident that his presence meant Lena would be at the top.

There weren’t any books around Lena today.

Her robe was laid out on the ground, and Lena was curled up on top of it. She wore only her white button up and slacks, her shoes having been discarded, and her grey sweater bunched up under her head.

Kara approached silently, and pulled the bag off of her shoulders. She set the bag down as quietly as she could, and knelt down in front of Lena.

She resisted the urge to brush the girl’s dark hair out of her face. Her sleeping form was more peaceful, more vulnerable than Kara had ever seen her.

Even when they shared a dorm, Kara never saw her actually sleeping. She always had her curtains pulled shut.

Suddenly feeling a little bit creepy, she put her hand on Lena’s arm and rubbed gently.

“Lena,” she whispered.

“Mmm,” she mumbled sleepily, opening her eyes and taking in the sight of Kara cradling Toby.

She didn’t speak immediately, and looked around briefly, her eyes landing on the bag of books.

“I knew you’d bring them,” she finally said, yawning.

“You were expecting me?” Kara asked, surprised.

“Mhm,” Lena confirmed, rolling her body into a seated position and pulling the bag closer to her.

“Why didn’t you just ask me to bring them to you today if you wanted them?”

“You were already doing me a favor,” Lena shrugged. “I didn’t want to push it.”

“It’s hardly an inconvenience,” she laughed.

Lena reached over and scratched Toby’s belly, and Kara realized that she was still knelt incredibly close to other girl.

She should have backed up, probably, but she decided to remain where she was.

“You were sleeping.”

“I was,” Lena answered simply, still petting her cat with one hand and flipping through one of the books with the other.

“I kind of thought sleeping was too plebeian for you.”

Lena gave a throaty laugh at that, and Kara’s heart swelled.

She mentally put “making Lena laugh” in the “best feelings in the world” category. She would file that away for later.

“Even vampires sleep, you know,” she winked at Kara.

Rao, this girl was going to be the death of her.

“Well, how about I carry these books back down to your dungeon for you so you can sleep properly in a coffin instead of on the ground?”

“My, aren’t we chivalrous,” Lena teased, rubbing at her still sleepy eyes.

Kara felt her cheeks burn as she collected the books back into the bag.

Lena was being awfully friendly. Unusually so.

She waited for Lena to pull her sweater and robes back on, but instead she just picked them up and held them.

“Aren’t you going to get dressed?”

“Asks the girl in her pajamas.”

Kara looked down at her own clothes.

“Fair enough.”

Lena smirked, and led her out the door.

They walked in companionable silence to the dungeons, until Kara wasn’t entirely sure where they were anymore.

She paused and looked around, and Lena stopped when she realized.

“Are you going to be able to find your way back?” she asked.

“I’m sure… yeah, it’ll be fine. I’ve been here for almost 5 years,” Kara brushed it off.

Lena smirked and began walking again.

When they got to the Slytherin common room door, Kara paused as Lena said the password, waiting for the other girl to take the books and be on her way. Instead, Lena entered the common room and just kept walking.

“Uuuhh…” Kara hesitated.

Lena turned and looked at her.

“It’s not booby trapped, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Kara took a deep breath and followed Lena through the door, taking in the common room around her.

There was a huge stone fireplace in the center of the room with a large Slytherin emblem on it. There were a few black leather couches, a couple of desks, and a large round table in the space.

It was larger than the Gryffindor common room, and impossibly dark. She shivered, and realized it was probably warmer when the fire was lit.

She turned to find Lena standing at a door, watching her.

“Sorry,” Kara said bashfully, hurrying to where Lena was waiting.

“That’s alright. It’s normal to be curious.”

Lena opened the door, but didn’t walk through immediately. She grabbed Kara by the elbow and pulled her to her side. She pulled out her wand and flicked it back in the direction of the common room door.

A silver stream of light, or maybe mist, made its way out the door.

“What’s that?” Kara asked.

“That’s how you’ll find your way back,” Lena explained.

“That’s brilliant!” Kara said, and Lena hushed her.

Lena walked up the stairs, and Kara followed her silently.

Her stomach was doing flips again, but it was a good feeling. She didn’t know why Lena was doing this, but she was glad. It was exciting.

When Lena opened the door, Kara followed her into the dormitory.

Lena opened her trunk and pulled out some pajamas, then pointed to an empty space on the right side.

“You can put them there,” she whispered, and disappeared into the bathroom.

Kara placed Toby on the bed and put the books inside the trunk. She shuffled awkwardly, not sure what to do with herself while she waited. She noticed the familiar clock on Lena’s nightstand and smiled, walking over to it and taking a seat on Lena’s bed.

She heard a throat clear and jumped, only just noticing Maggie watching her from what was apparently her bed, directly next to Lena’s. Her eyebrows were raised to her hairline.

“Maggie!” she exclaimed in a hushed tone.

“So welcome to my bedroom, I guess?” she whispered.

Kara laughed awkwardly.

“What are you doing here, kid?”

“I was bringing Lena her books.”

“That’s some first-rate service.”

“I do my best.”

“I don’t know what Lena said to you, but you should know, she’s kind of tipsy.”

“Huh?”

“After practice the team got drinks. Lena disappeared a while ago, but she’d had a few.”

“Oh.”

That explained why she was being so open.

The bathroom door opened and Lena reemerged in a white henley and plaid flannel pants. Kara had always wondered what Lena slept in.

She looked warm.

“Collect yourself, Danvers,” Maggie whispered, her eyes now closed.

“Making yourself right at home, I see,” Lena said as she approached.

“Sorry!”

Kara jumped up.

Lena stopped when she got to Kara, placing a hand on her arm.

“Thank you for getting the books. It really means a lot to me. If I couldn’t get them…” she trailed off.

“You’re welcome,” Kara smiled. “Just let me know what you need next month, and I’ll pick them up for you.”

Lena smiled at her, and hesitated briefly before leaning in a placing a soft kiss on Kara’s cheek.

“Goodnight, Kara.”

Kara stayed frozen in place momentarily, processing what had happened, while Lena crawled under the covers and pulled her curtains closed around her.

Kara glanced at Maggie one last time before she left. The girl’s eyes were still closed, but she wore the biggest smirk Kara had ever seen.


	14. You’ve Been Drinking Someone Else’s Pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so, so sorry for the delay. It's been a crazy few months. I still have my autumn decorations up from like 3 months ago. I can't promise it's going to be better immediately, but here's a chapter with some big progression. Enjoy!

The second time it happened, Kara was watching the Gryffindor team at quidditch practice.

High in the stands over the quidditch pitch, she heard yelling in the distance. She focused hard on the voices to tune in her hearing to what was happening.

“ _Aqua Eructo_ ,” a small, unfamiliar voice yelled.

“It’s not working!” called another one.

“ _Aqua Eructo_!”

It was more desperate this time.

Kara pulled off her glasses and looked into the direction of the voices, trying to see what was going on.

There was a group of trees near the lake, just on the edge of the forbidden forest, that students frequently studied under. It was a cozy, shady nook that Dumbledore had deemed safe for students. It was officially part of Hogwarts grounds.

At least half of the those trees had apparently gone up in flames. Only, the flames looked strange. They were whipping and weaving seemingly at their own will, rather than burning upwards or away from the wind like normal fire. It was almost as if they were chasing…

“ _Accio Firebolt_!” Lena cried.

“No, no, no, no…” Kara muttered, clambering gracelessly to behind the stands, where she was no longer visible.

She looked around carefully, and not seeing anyone, she jumped off the stands and flew towards her friend.

Kara’s hands felt numb. She was flying faster than she ever had before. She didn’t know what she was going to do when she got to Lena; she just knew that she had to get to her.

She watched as Lena ran through the trees, not even trying to put out the fire. Why wasn’t she trying?

Two younger students were using a spell to cast large streams of water at the flames, but it wasn’t doing anything.

 _Fiendfyre_ , she thought. That’s why Lena isn’t trying. She knows it won’t do anything.

Kara didn’t know any spells that would work on fiendfyre, and apparently Lena didn’t either.

Kara slowed her speed when she approached the fire. The younger students looked in her direction, and she flew up higher into the sky, doing her best to obscure their line of sight with the trees.

Kara faintly registered the students voices.

“What is that? Is that a person?”

She could hear Lena’s heartbeat pounding in her ears.

She had to do something, and she only had one idea. She took a deep breath, and used her freeze breath.

She had never used it to put out a fire, and she had never used it at such a large scale. She had seen articles about Superman putting out fires with it, but she had no idea if it would work on this particular type of flame.

 _Please_ , she thought.

Slowly, the flames started to freeze in place. She was pretty sure with normal fire, the flames would have disappeared at the freeze breath, but she would take whatever would help Lena.

She worked her way towards the winding ends of the fiendfyre, and it slowed.

Lena’s broomstick finally found its way to Lena’s hand, and she jumped on and flew away from the trees. She stopped when she apparently realized the flames were no longer following her.

She looked in Kara’s direction, and Kara readied herself for a quick escape, but Lena didn’t fly up to meet her. She heard Lena’s gasping breaths, her heartbeat finally starting to slow.

The two younger students ran over to her, asking if she was okay, as McGonagall and Snape made their way towards them.

Kara felt more exhausted than she ever had before. She flew into the forest, and collapsed against a tree.

Alex was going to kill her.

 

* * *

 

When the Daily Prophet arrived the next morning, and Kara scanned the headlines for any mention of what had happened the previous day.

“It’s not going to be in there,” Alex said irritably in the low voice, cutting into her eggs.

“I was just making sure.”

“Dumbledore won’t let it get out, if he can help it. There will be rumors though. Too many people saw you.”

“I know, Alex. I tried to keep myself hidden, okay?”

“It doesn’t matter if you were wearing a mask. People will know now, that you’re… that there’s… another one.”

“Another what?” Kara dared her to answer. _An alien. A freak._

“A super,” she said simply.

“They won’t know it’s me.”

Alex looked like she wanted to respond, but her eyes flickered to Winn who had just entered the Great Hall, and she took a bite instead.

Word had spread quickly the previous night. Apparently the two younger students who witnessed the attack had pretty big mouths.

Lucy had broken the news to them in the common room, and Kara watched Alex carefully for her reaction. She was as collected as Kara had ever seen her, but she was quick to come up with an excuse to pull Kara into her dorm alone and give her a stern lecture.

Kara expected her to yell, but she didn’t. Her sister looked so angry at first that she was legitimately scared, but then Alex cried. She cried and she pulled her into a hug, and Kara felt guilt wash over her.

She knew Alex wanted desperately to protect her from the world, the same way she felt the need to protect Alex from herself.

They held each other until Alex stopped crying, and finally Alex gave her a firm shove.

“Don’t ever do that again,” she’d said, and Kara agreed. They both knew it was a lie.

Kara looked at the door every time a student walked in for breakfast. She hadn’t seen Lena since the attack. She’d had no reason to, and she wanted to make sure she was okay. But Lena never made it up to eat.

What was even the point of the attack? How was putting Lena in such incredible danger going to persuade her to join Lillian? It didn’t make any sense.

 

* * *

 

By Monday night, she couldn’t stand it anymore. She hadn’t seen Lena once, and she wouldn’t wait one more day until their lesson without at least trying. But when she made her way up to the Astronomy tower that night, Lena wasn’t there.

That’s how she found herself walking into the dungeons 20 minutes earlier than usual on Tuesday. Part of her wondered if Lena would even show up for the lesson.

She wasn’t sure if there were still students inside - or worse, Snape - so when she finally got to the door, she pulled her glasses off and looked inside.

She would have been relieved to finally see Lena, but she was not prepared to see her like that.

She froze, trying to process what she was seeing.

Monica, sitting on the potions table. _Her_ potions table. Lena, standing between Monica’s knees. Monica’s hands in Lena’s hair. Lena’s hands under the back of Monica’s shirt.

She tried to pull her eyes away, but she couldn’t.

Lena, kissing Monica. Monica, who was a girl. A girl who liked other girls, and was currently kissing Lena.

They stopped abruptly, and Lena turned around to face the door, brow furrowed.

“Leeenaa,” Monica whimpered sickeningly, trying to coax Lena’s chin back towards her.

“Sshh,” Lena hushed her harshly, brushing her hand off.

Kara slipped her glasses back onto her face and took off down the hall. Had she made noise? She was fairly sure she hadn’t.

She stopped around the corner and waited, listening for the door. When she heard it open, she moved her glasses to look through the walls.

It was Monica, leaving. Thank Rao.

She waited for what felt like an hour, but in reality was probably two minutes, and made her way back to the potions room.

Almost all previous excitement to see Lena was now completely altered. She was still worried about Lena, but Lena was, apparently, _just_ fine.

She was filled with a different kind of anxiousness now. She opened the door without hesitation, and closed it hard.

Lena looked at her curiously, and she heard herself give a brusk sounding, “Hi, Lena.”

“Hello. What’s the matter with you?” Lena asked.

“What’s the matter with _you_?” she replied curtly, opening her textbook.

She looked taken aback. Kara was never rude to Lena, not without giving Lena a good reason.

What was the matter with her? Rao, she had spent the last three days worried sick about Lena, and what, because Lena was kissing some other girl, she was pissed? That wasn’t fair. That wasn’t Kara.

She tried to steady her temper, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath.

 _But, Monica_ , she thought. _Monica is the absolute worst. Why did it have to be her? Why couldn’t it be Maggie or someone nice? No, that was no good either. Stop thinking about Lena kissing Maggie._

She opened her eyes suddenly and looked at her fists, clenched in front of her on the table.

_The table. The table where Monica had just been sitting, her legs wrapped around Lena._

Kara pulled her hands off the table and stood up quickly.

“What are we brewing?” she asked, grabbing her book and walking towards the supplies.

“How do you even know?” Lena asked.

“What?”

“You know, but I don’t know how you know.” She looked utterly confused. “Could you hear us from outside?”

“Are you a legilimens?” Kara asked suddenly. “Someone told me you were, and if you are, I think you should tell me. It’s not fair to read my mind without at least letting me know you’re reading my mind.”

Lena stared at her in apparent shock while Kara thought about how what wasn’t fair was her question. She knew she was trying to make Lena feel guilty about maybe, potentially invading her privacy by reading her mind because she felt guilty about invading Lena’s privacy by looking through the door.

But that was different, because she didn’t know she was peeping in on an intimate moment until it was too late. And Lena couldn’t know she could look through walls, because that wasn’t something that humans could do. Even witches.

And it wasn’t like Lena was actually reading Kara’s mind. She just needed to distract her somehow.

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Yes,” Lena repeated. “I’m a legilimens.”

“Uuhh,” Kara backed towards the door, debating whether or not to run.

She hadn’t been expecting Lena to say yes. That was… bad. That was a bad thing.

“Stop,” Lena said gently, holding up one hand to Kara, as though she was trying to calm a frightened dog. “I can’t read your mind.”

“But you just said…”

“Legilimency is wildly misunderstood. There are many different kinds of legilimens, and I’m not that kind that can read your mind. Well, not exactly.”

“What do you mean, ‘not exactly’?” she asked, making her way slowly back to the table.

“I can read your emotions.”

“My emotions. How do you read emotions?”

“I can feel them too, when you feel them. Sort of.”

“What am I feeling now?”

“Confused. Surprised. Scared, but not as scared as you were 30 seconds ago. Angry, but not as angry as you were 2 minutes ago.”

Kara looked away, feeling her cheeks burn.

“Embarrassed,” Lena continued gently.

She clenched her jaw.

“Angrier, again,” Lena joked.

“Stop it!”

“I can’t, Kara. I’m sorry. I can stop saying it, but I can’t stop feeling it. Trust me, I’d love to stop.”

“I need to go.”

“Okay.”

Kara grabbed her bag and shoved her book back inside, making her way towards the door.

“Please don’t tell anyone.”

Kara hesitated with her hand on the knob.

“I won’t.”

 

* * *

 

 

Kara sat on her bed with the curtains drawn for 3 hours. She missed dinner. She had a lot to process.

Lena was a legilimens. That was just supposed to be a rumor. Was she also a parselmouth? A vampire? Did she already have more horcruxes than Voldemort? If one rumor was true, why not the others?

Lena might know that she’s an alien. She didn’t think so, but it was possible. She wished she could have stayed longer, to ask Lena more questions about her gifts. But there was something about knowing that Lena might be reading her mind that was making her think about things she didn’t want Lena to know, which was a problem.

Lena liked girls. Presumably. And so did Kara, if her uncontrollable jealousy was any indication.

She was jealous about Lena kissing a girl, and Lena _knew_ she was jealous. How could she ever talk to her again?

She buried her face under her pillow.

Alex brought her dinner, and Kara told her she was just napping because she didn’t get much sleep the night before.

She honestly tried to sleep, but it was no use. She had so many questions that only Lena could answer.

After tossing and turning for two hours, she finally threw the blankets off of her body and made her way towards the Astronomy tower for the second night in a row. Even if she wasn’t there again tonight, maybe Kara could find some peace looking out over the grounds.

She was both excited and nervous when she got to the top and found Lena there, studying.

“So can you, like, feel me when I walk in the room?” she asked in lieu of greeting.

“Sometimes. Not always. It’s easier to read you when I look you in the eyes,” she said, continuing to look at her book. “If you’re feeling strong emotion, I feel it when you walk in.”

“And now?” Kara crossed her arms.

Lena licked her lips, delaying her answer. “I can feel you.”

“Mmm.”

Kara was still standing at the top of the stairs, and Lena finally looked at her.

“Nothing has changed, you know,” she said with a tired sigh.

“Everything has changed,” she laughed.

“Not really, though. This isn’t new. I’ve been like this my entire life. You just know about it now. And it’s not like it’s just you. It’s everyone. I don’t know what it’s like to not feel other people’s emotions. It’s normal for me.”

Kara noted the pleading tone in her voice, and finally walked over, sitting down next to her.

“It’s everyone?”

“Everyone.”

“You asked me not to tell anyone. Do people not know?”

“Not here, no.”

“Your family?”

Lena’s eyes flashed.

“My family knows. Some teachers know. Some students have guessed, but they don’t really know.”

“Why did you tell me?”

“Because you asked,” she shrugged. “You can’t lie to me. It didn’t seem fair to lie to you.”

“What do you mean, I can’t lie to you?”

Lena turned a faint pink.

“I can tell when you’re lying. I can tell when anyone is lying.”

“Well, that’s a fun trick.”

“Not really,” she said sadly.

“You don’t like it?”

Lena laughed humorlessly.

“Would you like being cursed?”

“Cursed? I don’t understand. Most people would kill to have gifts like yours.”

“It’s not a gift, Kara. Maybe it would be for you. Everyone likes you. Everyone wants to be your friend.”

With that, everything clicked into place.

“Oh.”

Lena had to feel how people felt about _her_. Kara hadn’t considered that. She knew how people talked about Lena, how Alex and Lucy talked about her, how most people felt about her.

Kara had been so concerned about what Lena’s abilities meant for her that she hadn’t even considered what they meant for Lena. A sudden wave of guilt and sympathy washed over her.

“Don’t pity me,” Lena bit.

Kara sighed. This was complicated.

She tried a change of subject instead.

“So how long have you and Monica Flint… you know?” she asked quickly, and Lena looked at her.

“We aren’t, ‘you know.’”

Lena looked like she wanted to say something else, but decided against it. Kara figured maybe she wanted to ask again how Kara knew.

“Okay.”

 _...but you were kissing_ , she thought. _A lot. Was it the first time? The second? Do you do that before every lesson? Is it just Monica, or a lot of girls? Boys too, or just girls?_

Lena cleared her throat, and Kara flushed pink.

“You can’t read minds at all?” she asked self-consciously.

“Not words, not usually. If you looked me right in the eyes and thought something specific and really concentrated on it, I could. But I can’t hear the words you’re thinking when you’re just sitting next to me. Concepts, sometimes.”

“Sometimes?”

“Sometimes.”

“Sometimes now?”

Lena smirked, and Kara wanted to die.

Lena started reading again, and after a few minutes the atmosphere grew more comfortable.

“I heard about what happened,” Kara said carefully.

She wanted to talk to Lena about the attack, but now that she knew Lena was a legilimens, she had to be careful how she approached the subject.

Lena looked at her, as if giving her permission to continue.

“Are you okay?”

“I didn’t get hurt,” she answered evasively.

“I know that. I meant, how are you handling it?”

She shrugged in answer.

“Was it your mother again?”

“I don’t know of anyone else who’s after me.”

“I don’t understand, Lena. If she wants your help, why would she try to harm you like that?”

“My help?” she asked with a laugh. “Why on Earth would you think Lillian wants my help?”

“Well... doesn’t she?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Then what does she want? Why is she coming after you?”

Lena closed her book. “She wants to eliminate me.”

Kara blanched.

“...as a threat. Not necessarily my life, but if that’s what it takes.”

She shrugged again, as though the idea of her own mother trying to kill her was no big deal.

“That’s heinous!”

“That’s a Luthor.”

“Don’t do that.”

She felt herself getting angry, and knew that Lena must too.

“Do what?”

“Use ‘Luthor’ like that. Like it’s indicative of character, a given as some kind of flaw. That’s not fair. I don’t let anyone else do it, and I certainly won’t let you.”

When Lena didn’t respond, she continued.

“Why does she think you’re a threat?”

“Because I am. She knows I don’t share her ideals. She knows I don’t agree with what she’s doing, with CADMUS. She knows that one day, I’m going to be the one to take her down.”

“That’s what all the studying is for,” Kara said, finally understanding.

It all made sense now. It wasn’t ambition for the sake of ambition. Lena was putting in all this effort, all this work, for the greater good. She was the anti-Lex.

Her heart swelled with admiration, and then with sympathy once again.

She watched Lena begin to read again, wondering how someone so young coped with all of this. She had been living with it all of her life. She had so much pain to contend with from her family, and then everyone she turned to… they hated her. And she had to feel all of it. She had no one. And she was still so, so good.

She hoped what Lena felt from her now wasn’t sympathy, but the great respect she was feeling.

Kara crawled the short distance over to the other girl, and enveloped her in a hug.

Lena stiffened at first, but eventually melted into it, allowing Kara to hold her without asking questions.


End file.
